Sorry I'm taking So Long

I didn't mean the title to sound like I was causing a line up for the Loo.

I find I still can't think about my brother without having my thoughts do what my Grandmother used to describe as. " He jumped on his horse and rode off in all directions ". When she used it normally she meant someone could not make sense as how can you go in more than one direction at once.

However I find when I do think each thought triggers another normally not related to the first at all.

I still have trouble sleeping, too much or to little. My illness is still acting up but it is cold so I don't really mind staying in. I do have to go out for the dog and food. I have a headache today but rain is expected so I don't know which is the why. As it is written on the side of the blog under the picture my birthday is coming shortly. I got myself something slightly extravagant. The complete Rosetta Stone Japanese course. Have not installed it yet ( and won't while a headache is pounding ) typing is one thing following instructions another. My Japanese is not really bad I probably speak like a sixth grader and read like a 3rd grader. My goal is to become impossible to tell on a phone from a native with high school.

Unlike French I have to be around it a day or two before I can speak it well ( think it is a case of ear adjusting but half my teachers spoke Quebec French and half Parisian French so that may have a bit to do with it. )

Once I am feeling normal for me I will get out something on George and his life.

George

As some of you know my younger brother George Arthur Brechin passed away 15 December. I have been a bit of a total wreck since and will as soon as I feel I can handle it without breaking down write what I hope will be a suitable memorial for him. I hope it is very soon. Some of you think I have unusual talents. They are nothing when held next to his sorry to put this up on Christmas but this is the first time I have well enough to write even this very short. Explanation. All I have written since I began blogging could not possibly tell of the admiration and love had for him.

My apologies for the wait.

Sid

Thank God we can Heat Our Homes

Just back from walking the Dog and getting a hot drink, Normally I have to wait for the drink to cool down before I drink it at least 5 to 10 minutes. I actually had to put it in the microwave to warm it up a bit today even though the candy store I get it at is only 100 yards or so away.

Makes me glad to warm up the apartment or house when I had one only involves moving a lever on the thermostat. I can recall when at my Grandparents cottage needing to cut down trees and split wood. Lighting was done with kerosene lamps. I'm not stone age old only feel it at times. However something people who scream about greenhouse gasses should remember is technology doesn't get everywhere at the same time. Canada is one of the worlds wealthier countries and we still have vast areas without electricity. Comes with also being one of the worlds largest countries, next to Russia the largest. If Americans want to know where they fall it is 5th in area.

China having had a huge population for longer than anyone else, has had problems building new buildings with central heating or the means to supply central heating. Having friends who moved there ( they first went to perform at China's version of Disneyland then teach them bagpipes. I'm not sure if teaching the Chinese to play bagpipes is Cultural Exchange or Crimes against Humanity ). On their visits back here the twins ( both learned to play in the same Regiment I served in ) commented that the biggest difference is the attitudes of the sexes towards each other. Here they feel as if being male makes them automatically villains, while there male or female you are judged on you merits and behaviour.

Anyway it is cold here today -6 and windy. That is -6 C so still above 0 F for our American friends. 0 C is the temp water freezes at and 100 C where it boils at. 0 F is the temp salt water freezes at and 100 was meant to be body temp. As measuring was a less accurate when that scale came to first be used and people vary a bit in their temperatures it missed by a bit with 98.6 being average body temp. A bit of trivia which unless you are in a trivia contest or on jeopardy is probably of no use to you. Of course if someone mentions the cold and you wish them to think you spend all your time memorizing the encyclopedia it may be worth a mention.

In the meantime, I shall endeavor to remain indoors enjoying the benefits of living in a country and a part of it which has lots of both natural gas and electricity.

Changed my Mind

So I changed my mind. Actually I made a different choice mind is still where the heck minds are. Being male normally in the gutter. Being older the blood router is not any longer permanently locked in divert blood away brain to part which has no brain but outranks it.

Think I will be inside all day. My illness is acting up. No reason for it I know of. Perhaps I had bad dreams as I woke anxious. I took some meds hope they work the meds are tricky you don't want them to work too well or you end up drowsy and listless and don't feel like going out anyway. Not that there is any great reason to go out. It is around the freezing point. Slightly windy typical Canada near winter weather.

Will watch some tv hope anxiety goes down ( comedies seem a good idea ) if not another pill. The dog has been walked a friend had borrowed $20 a couple weeks ago and dropped by to return it. Took the dog out while here. I do need to made sure he gets out a couple more times. I always manage but there is a difference between out long enough to pee etc and long enough for at least a quick stroll.

Yesterday he only got quick pee walks as it was raining so hard I am sure building Arks crossed some folks minds.

Do I know any Noah jokes. On the Ark all the animals were in pairs except the worms they were in the Apples.

Actually if you read it only the unclean anmimals were in pairs there were I think it was 7 of each of the others.

One thing from the bible I can't get my head around.King Solomon was supposed to be the wisest man who ever lived. He is also supposed to have 500 wives. If he was so wise wouldn't he realize that meant 500 sets of inlaws. Really is there anyone else who thinks that many sets of In Laws is Dumber than anything Jim Carey did in Dumb and Dumber?

Last Post

Recently I have had a few problems. All came as a result of helping people.

The aim of my writing the books I have been writing was to help people in general however recently I have found every time I have tried to help anyone it has come back to hurt me. Sometimes badly.

So I have decided to not help from now on. When someone comes to me for first aid ( which was happened last night, I took them to the hospital by cab paying for it myself ) they waited till called then when in triage for only 6 minutes ran out of the hospital. I Tried to show them what they could expect if they did not get the broken finger treated my turning the baby finger slightly. I was threatened with the police in fact I have a form of death threat on my phone message.

In future I will tell anyone call for an ambulance, the call is free from any pay phone. If you can find one now that they are all but gone due to cell phones.

So I am going to stop helping in any form including writing. Also at the time she owed me $110 dollars. I just told her to forget the money, It will be worth it not to go through the aggravation with my panic disorder I can't risk it.

This is the 3rd incident of some kind ( different people ) where I have done someone a favor and it has become a problem. So no more help, no more favors. I don't care they are out of food and the food bank is low and their children are going hungry. Feeding them is up to them not me. In fact in that kind of case I think a call to the Children's aid would be the best thing. I also will no longer lend anyone a few dollars to take them to payday. I have done this often in the past and do tend to get paid back when they get the money and with thanks. However in future I will say why not and mention names.

My generation was taught to take care of ourselves. Though there is nothing wrong with charity I now agree it begins at home. My parents who didn't quite end up old enough to serve in the war live through it and learned to do what you could for yourself and otherwise work together. Their parents served through the war or suffered rationing scrap drives absence of loved ones for 5 years ( for my American friends this is not meant as any kind of derogatory thing but the other Allied countries went to war when Germany invaded Poland 1 Sep 1939. You entered only when attacked 7 Dec 1941. Rosevelt tried to help the allies has far as he could but the country's policy was one of isolationism. Far from what it is today. Rosevelt did what he could first helping supply weapons and food to the Allies stuck in Brittian at the time then even guarding convoy's. However he could not stop some war profiteers from also supplying the Nazi's until was was formally declared ). If any one cares they did it by sending the materials to Africa from where it was then sent to Germany and Italy.

I am still willing to serve as a witness to a crime if I see one and call emergency services if I see an accident or fire etc. However no more coming to peoples rescue or risking myself or even possesions or cash. In my old age I may need them and that will get here in time. I am seeing my Mother get I hate to see it but feeble and though I don't get the chance to see him my father has onset of Parkinson's. I hope to see him as soon as I can but these events of the last few days have put of the trip I planned to take to visit him ( for me travel is dangerous ). Because My dog is blind I can't kennel him however an older lady I know who knows me and the dog offered to watch him if and when I can go.

I am trying to get hold of my doctor so I have enough meds if I try the trip but he often works for Doctors without borders and is sometimes gone 3 weeks out of the month. I keep leaving messages.

Sleep Deprivation Headache

I live above a store across the store from a bar, Brits read Pub without the nice manners ( yes I know Canadians are polite but a polite drunk is still noisy and still drunk ). With Halloween being on Sunday this year it was way above normal noisy Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Also as this is what is sometimes called a one horse town only I have never seen a horse here so make it a no horse town, there is nothing to do normally. The result was after the bar closed the patrons remained in the area being noisy till dawn. Not rowdy or anything but enough that sleep was out of the question.

Normally on a normal weekend just Saturday usually sometimes Friday as well but rarely I compensate by watching a DVD with surround sound till the bar closes at 2.

Now I hope all realize I am just making a commentary not a complaint. This town needs every job it can get and most of the bars have closed in the past few years. In fact I think the only other one ( aside from the Legion which has very restricted hours ) the other is also a pretty nice restaurant. I often go to on Friday as that is their Prime Rib special day and I love prime rib.

So for certain types of behaviour, like dancing listening to a band this is the only choice. I am glad there is something, and they use local bands often. Don't have too but it is nice for local musicians.

Moving is not a good idea ( if I move it will be to a city ) as with my Agoraphobia though I have good days most days I have only about a two block safe zone ( meaning I am very unlikely to have a panic attack ) and this is by far the nicest place downtown and also about dead center. The hardware stores are way out of my safe zone so males can take pity and women may laugh.

However when I worked I did 22 of my 29 years at the TTC on either a solid night shift or a solid afternoon shift. So my body has been used to sleeping during the day most of my life. I won't complain about the Army because the Infantry's definition of happiness is getting enough sleep. ( and for some reason Infant ry does not mean Baby Army )

Anyway, normal things are waking me at normal times so I am having great trouble sleeping. This morning I didn't get to sleep till 6 AM and my cell woke me with a text at 10. ( tonight It goes off for the night ). Result for the 1st time in a few years a sleep deprivation headache. Coffee Tylenol and I may go for one of those long lasting energy drinks that are mostly vitamin B.

So here is hoping all of you even if you have newborns are getting a good nights sleep. For myself hoping tonight is to sleep perhaps all night.

So anyone emailing this evening please excuse me if I don't get back till tomorrow hopefully late.

Army Slang and Insults

Odette was not familiar with Acronyms, Odette since you have not been here long enough to pick them all up don't worry you will. But if you hear one and want to know what it means email me and I will tell you. Mind you Canada and the US are not exactly the same for them.

I know I use a fair bit of army slang. I generally ( nothing to do with Generals ) try to avoid it here. However I realize it may slip out so I will mentions some of my favorites.

A Commando ( US calls them special forces, ) Slang term: Rough and Tough and hard to Diaper.

Very, very dangerous. Slang term: Killed more men than an Army Cook.

Motto of the Commandos ( not slang real motto ): Death from Above

Motto of the Army Cooks corps ( joke motto ): Death from Within

The Army usually during the various times of Basic, Each promotion includes training courses that include versions of Basic meant to be harder and also suit the new job. Go up the infantry ladder and it can get vicious. One thing while you are doing things like trying to not let go of a rope from exhaustion, or keep moving on a 5 mile run with a 10 pound rifle and 40 to 60 pound pack are insults. It's not mean they serve a purpose. At first to make you madder to carry on. Later to get you used to ignoring insults not letting things get to you if for example a protester spits on you ( something I never understood, don't the realize those guns are not for show they are loaded and with live ammo ). Since I was often the one yelled at ( but remember the good ones yelled at others I will do them in first person.

Brechin, it's a case of Mind over Matter, I don't Mind you don't Matter.

Brechin, No One is totally useless. You can always serve as a horrible example.

My favorite which was not part of training just a comment. A Major was making a comment about an Officer Cadet who was a friend of mine and some other Lieutenants standing having a drink in the mess. ( Officers club in the States ). He said " That man has no class " Mike another Lieutenant piped up " Are you Kidding Ron's got more class than anyone I know. It's all Low but it's still Class "

Which goes to show the wisecracks and insults can go either direction up the chain of command.

First up the chain one I heard I was on Rifle coach course as a 16 year old Cadet. 3rd week of a 6 week course. We were all gathered in the common room for a chewing out. Sgt says " I have been getting calls and letters from some of your Mothers. They are complaining you guys are not calling or writing home. I'm 33 years old and still write my Mother every week."

Voice from the back of the Room ( won't name him but he did go on to win the Pan Am gold medal for large bore rifle ) " Does she ever write back? "

With that remark the Sgt lost control of the room. Whole team was confined to barracks for two days but was worth it. I have a story I am telling 40 years later.

Truth in Acronyms

Today we use a ton of Acronyms.

Not a new thing I think while serving it was possible to have a two hour conversation with another soldier and never us a single real word. Everything in acronyms. You got to know when you were out of control when every paragraph ended with over and every conversation with out. Also the word yes became replaced with Roger. That no end tended to bug my brother Roger btw.

However when I say truth in Acronyms I a referring to take a common expression and make it sound more masculine or politically correct or whatever in order to sell something.

What pops to mind is a drug. Specifically any drug to treat what they created the term ED for. All my life we had a term for ED that applied that they chose not to make an acronym and the only reason I can think of is ED seems less funny than CGIU. Now I have never heard anyone say CGIU. They have always said the term in full. However since it has been around at least a lot longer than me why get cute and invent the term erectile dysfunction, when for ages CGIU was used.

in a useless aside how many knew that the mostly male medical community were greatly divided about weather PMS even existed until it was successfully used as a temporary insanity defence in an English murder case.

Comfort

At the moment the photo function is offline which is not bad because I couldn't find an appropriate picture anyway.

Right now I and most folks I know in town are having something don't think it is technically a cold or flu but something. I suspect it is some kind of respiratory illness because first the smokers seemed to come down with it first and worst. Second it seems to give everyone a slight cough. Like the kind you fake when you are trying to hint to someone they are about to do something stupid ( which never seems to work anyway they still do whatever you were trying to warn them not to ) The effect this is having on me is my sleep patterns are terrible either I can't sleep at all or I spend over 18 hours sleeping unable to wake up. The part I find hardest is it seems to making thinking difficult. I am putting off serious writing till this passes as I am forgetting things. I had to make 5 trips to the store to get toilet paper. I would get there and forget why I went. However as to the article title at the Sally Anne I saw a chair I really like and need to replace my computer room chair so I bought it. A friend helped me get it home and in the morning I will give it a good cleaning. I do have an upholstery cleaner. I use an easy chair lazy boy recliner type at the moment. Can get away with that as I have a huge screen and wireless keyboard. This is really a living room type chair I bought and big but is so comfortable my only fear is I am likely to fall asleep in front of the computer.

There is no harm in spoiling oneself.

The Pen is Mighter Than the Sword but it's No Match for a Gun

For anyone wondering yes I have been doing some work on my books. I am finding the hardest part that I am writing for a target readership whom I have not wrote for in the past.

On top of that I have not been sleeping well for the past several days due to nightmares. Which explains being up at 5AM my sleeping patterns are way off.

So over the next little while certain of you will be getting chunks of the serious book to look over for me and those who agreed to do this thank you very much. The reason you will be getting chunks rather than the whole thing is some chapters are only applicable in some parts of the world. For example Tracey doesn't need to know about Polar bears. I almost typed beers instead of Bears and I am sure she knows they are cold and that is all she will practically need to know about them. ( we actually have such a thing here and in the states and the can changes colour if the beer is cold enough. This is not a joke ask your yankee readers. )

The only person I expect will read all the chapters is Matt who is ex US Navy but part of that is out of interest on his part and part out of a church duty that overlaps. My brother George will likely read it all and make suggestions but he was there for much of my polishing the skills and if anything is even better at it than I am. He can also get more technical yet has more of a talent for putting it in common words than I do so I definitely want him to look it over. He is the type of guy who if he feel in a hole with a Polar Bear after the screaming stopped George would climb out burp, wearing a new white fur outfit, with a supply of meat to last a couple weeks and fuel made from the fat. He would have also known not to eat the one part of only two fur bearing animals which is poison to humans.

Oddly while writing memoirs and stories the computer is great. For the survival aide memoir I am finding old fashioned paper and ink or pencil more practical who would have guessed. Especially since I have been using Word Processors since they had a name and before that could use a manual typewriter. Odd some things we learn about ourselves.

Your Password is Secret

I don't know how many of you recall when computers and before the net was as public ( hard to believe it started as a weapon of sorts. Not the weapon itself but how we were supposed to communicate to stop a war after everything that could be destroyed was. The only survivors would be eaten corn, old episodes of M*A*S*H, peoples memory of the most embarrassing thing you ever did. Sorry to inform you but when you get met by your favorite friend or relative at the end of that long bright tunnel on leaving this mortal coil. The first words you hear will not be "Welcome to Heaven" they are more likely to be " Remember that time you......"

Anyway I was thinking about the early days of computer mania and this new thing the net. People were shocked I was able to guess most of their passwords on the first guess. If you had one of those early 300 baud modems you may have even done this.

I would guess your password is and I would write down the word secret. Most would be shocked how did I know that. Now that you are a sophisticated member of the cyber community you may laugh at this. Books of the time made a point of saying. YOUR PASSWORD IS SECRET. Do not tell anyone your password and the readers would happily type in secret as their password.

Nice Day but Not in in a sense

It has finally turned nice out. What we often call Indian summer. I even got a Thanksgiving card in the mail today. Thank You. For our American friends who think Thanksgiving is next month just remember it is basically a harvest celebration being further north our harvest is of necessity earlier.

As to the not in part I am in the process of defragging my largest drive the 1.5 T drive which takes close to 24 hours. I can do some in fact most things at that time but prefer not to save accidentally writing to that drive. At that time. My mail and internet programs are on one of my 1 T drives and I have already done all the rest. Mainly while sleeping. Isn't multi-tasking great when sleeping is one of those tasks.

Attention Mothers

The Army had a version of Multi-Tasking they called concurrent activity. It meant as a platoon getting more than one job done at the same time. For example a Patrol being done while others did dishes or laundry. So next time ask if they want to play Army and they have a choice of volunteer to wash or dry.

I Hate the Rain

Might sound a bit wimpy but I hate the rain.

Wasn't always like this a misadventure mountain climbing at 20 had me stuck literally overnight on the side of a cliff face as it rained most of the night. Once the rain stopped falling my partner and I were able to get to the top of the face very quickly. Climbing wet limestone is like climbing wet soap. Winds dry the rock very fast but that was only half the problem. Climbing up is perhaps a tenth as hard as climbing down. Especially in the dark, today battery technology I imagine climbers in similar situations would have headlights that would last till dawn. In 1974 no such luck.

Top of the face, not the top of the mountain our goal had been to climb a face that according to the record books had not been done before. The storm came from behind the mountain. Mountains create mini weather effects on their own. We didn't have fore warning. So we ended doing an unclimbed route about half in the dark. Perhaps 2,000 feet of rock face or 200 stories if you compare it to buildings. That wasn't the worst we were still soaked to the skin and with night though not terribly high maybe 8,000 feet maybe another 500 the mountain was 9,386 total. However night still meant temperature dropping below zero. We moved north as we knew there was a trail to a cirque and if we hit the cirque we could slid down it to the trail. We didn't make it that far. Two miles in the dark would have been a fair feat anyway. On the way we hit a treed area. Our combined survival training mine military his as a Swiss climber let us build a fire and remain awake. I can not recall ever being so tired.

Night that high up is short. With the sunrise our clothing quickly dried. We rappelled down the mountain and hitched a ride back to base. Just in time to take out classes both of us has scheduled to teach that day.

For years after that I did not know why rain made me very uncomfortable. One day about 15 years later I was telling the story of that climb to a friend of my wife's who happened to be Swiss. Suddenly I stopped. Though I had told the story many times this was the first time I made the mental connection. That day had been the start of my mild amaphobia. No need to look it up. It means "fear of rain".

The Tooth the Whole Tooth and Nothing But the Tooth

As you may have guessed I have a dental appointment in about a half hour. Also since I am not one of those people who have dentist's and shrink's for their dog's. Dogs do a big part to serve as effective shrinks on their own. The look at you like they are listening. Cause you to repeat your last statement only without adding your mother to the statement. btw I put this on my own post today and did not get it mixed up with Rocky's.

I don't think it got as cold as forecast but a warning from someone we were in for frost did have me put the hear on so I many just not have noticed. It is cool here today. Being Canadian I should define our version of cold. Cold means the temp is low cars won't start. Really cold means the snowmobiles won't start either so you can't dress in a suit NASA could use for a Mars landing and enjoy your day off because everything is closed.

Not sure if the above cartoon is apt as I can't recall if this is my extraction on some other evil dental procedure. Every notice if they want to give you the impression someone is about to tortured in the movies they show dental tools.

Have a good day all and may your Teeth keep ALL their parts

Whose Afraid of the Wicked Witch

Daddy said yesterday like we were going to get taken to some place called Oz. I didn't know where Oz was but Daddy has a movie from a time called 1939 and the Movie is Called the Wizard of Oz.

Don't know why everyone was scared of the Witch. Toto must have been a really wimpy dog. The Witch couldn't handle water. I would have seen how much she liked a leg full of dog pee.

Ruff Said!

Feeling Every Second of my Years

It's not quite 9AM and it is one of those days I feel every second of being in my 57th year. Which is an old fashioned way of saying my next birthday is my 57 but I've finished 56 whole years and feel at least that old.

I feel as if I have just had the above medical procedure and am having all side effects of taking some modern miracle drug designed to very effectively cure disposable income and have been abducted and subjected to unthinkable acts by assorted kinds of space aliens.

I'm sure all of you know what I mean. I really have nothing wrong with me but nothing feels right.

I live across from a tavern and last night they had a band. Okay it's Friday night goes with the territory and when they do get a loud band I tend to watch DVD movies with surround sound on so the Movie drowns out the bar. I did really enjoy the one I choose to watch for the first time last night. I had bought it earlier in the week and to be honest am surprised I hadn't seen it months ago as it came out last year. Jackie Chan in "The Spy Next Door" a spoof of both high tech spy movies and babysitting flicks. I enjoyed it very much and found my amused at myself knowing exactly which James Bond theme they were using in the score at any given moment. On top of that I picked up on some tv spy themes from the 60's and 70's. So though I was not up terribly late movie and bar both were done about 2. My allergies are not bothering me. The pets woke me about 7 for some reason. Maybe they heard something outside I'm limited to human hearing. The sky looks like there is a trip to Oz scheduled for later on today. I have not had my coffee yet. ( it is sitting in front of me as I type and the dog has been walked ). I just feel blah. I think I have one of those energy drinks in the fridge and if I don't feel more like something which at least has the ability to walk upright may drink it in an hour or so.

Looking out the window of the computer room it really does like that trip to Oz is a possibility. I hope not. This weekend is the county fair in the next town over and a number of friends who belong to the same mental health support group I do are going to be manning a booth there the aim of which is this coming week is mental health week and they are part of a nationwide maybe bigger effort to reduce the stigma people associate with mental illnesses. Makes sense a mental illness is not like a tattoo, you don't choice to get one as well as when and where. ( though at time I have thought of getting one with the oriental symbols for "Stupid White Man" Though I only know how to say it in Japanese the meaning is the same in several languages. ) Also I am the only member of this particular group who is also a card carrying member of Mensa so I sort of feel I should be there even if only to prove that having a genius IQ does not make you crazy but it can't prevent it either.

The short version of this whole thing is I have a premonition it is going to be " One of those Days. "

Head Cold

Good thing I had almost no e-mail today. The expected well due butt kicking from Tracey as expected thank you. There are various forms of encouragement and one of the most effective comes only from mother's, Wives, Regimental Sergent Majors and Ladies of Scots Ancestry. Tracey belongs to the last group but at times she can be as motivating as members of the Third.

I slept in first. Then got a call from my housekeeper asking if I had any medicines for head colds. I do get allergies almost constantly but rarely a cough, possibly as I have never been a smoker. In fact tobacco starts my eyes watering as badly as pollen or the cat sleeping on my chest. Unlike the latter two I can normally avoid tobacco. It isn't the smoke which apparently triggers allergies but tiny particles of unburnt tobacco carried by the smoke. At least according to the Doctor who first Dx'd me as allergic. I unfortunately can't tolerate the shots to reduce your allergies. Perhaps six hours after one I will have a terrible migraine which can last for days. So instead I rely on simple anti-histamines. It's not so bad. First they are pills not shots and the main side effect drowsiness you soon get immune too. I gave what I had for cough to Tina as I said I rarely get coughs and these were from my last cough which must have been during the winter ( summer for Kirst I'm on the other side of the equator ) and all were getting close to their expiry dates. However it is going around as they say and there is lots of vacant space in my head so I have one of the symptoms. Excessive sleeping. Two coffee's one more than normal. ( I would have had more but I slept till after the coffee shop closed when I tried to watch some television in the early afternoon and woke after dark.

Took the dog for a pee walk did get a coffee from one of those places that plans to stay open right through the second coming.

Ever notice that nowadays the lists of side effects on any kinds of pills is longer than the dictionaries we used our last year of school. And side effects the 3 stooges could not have come up with as well. Ringing noses, Runny Ears, Watery Navels, Dry Itchy mouth, Premature you know what and green and red stuff popping out the end on top. Erections lasting under six seconds or over six hours. I think our wives are used to the first but they say you should call your doctor if it lasts over six hours. I figure they came up with that number, because the people at market research calculated it would take you five hours and fifty-nine minutes to call and brag about it to all your other friends first. Worst thing is that's not on a box of cold pills but the side effects for a tube of M&M's or a pack of breath mints. Actual medications probably warn against abduction by space aliens ( as opposed to the kind from neighbouring nations ). I also have come to the conclusion that the space alien sudden interest in probing is our own fault. Things used to be plain run of the mill bright lights and autopsy while still living. Then we started to broadcast of various government sessions convincing them beyond any possible doubt that there is no intelligent life on this planet. Try watching a government broadcast and in less than five minutes you likely will have reached the same conclusions the aliens did. Why keep up the probing and why there. Maybe like here if they don't use up this years budget next years will be cut and after watching our world leaders on television they figure if they are find any thinking that's the place to look because it's where our officials normally keep their heads.

Sorry for the Delay

I realize I have not posted either as myself or Rocky since my Step Dad's death and Step Grand Son's birth came back to back.

Aside from a week with the computer down due to damage from a power out ( a shattered disk drive plate of all things )I have had no good excuse or extenuating circumstance. I have had a great deal of a few friends both physically near and cyber universe friends to start writing seriously. I very much appreciate all the encourage the enthusiasm and would appreciate suggestions for what to write my none blog serious works on. Those of you who read the blog articles know the type of things I either enjoy writing about or have a skill in so your suggestions will all be appreciated. I am Tracey will have some colourful metaphors which when translated back to black and white boil down to it's about time.

So I am back. I am healthier than I have been in a long time and a side note which I did forward to Kirst. My friend Rick now often billed as the world's fasted one legged man ( For anyone who thinks he is just raw courage he is also at least as smart as I am ) he will be running representing Canada in Kirsts City of Christchurch New Zealand. To prove I am still an idiot I can't recall when. I hope they have the chance to meet as both are fascinating people and both are excellent role models for others. I really have they chance to meet each other. I told Kirst to tell him she's a friend of Sid's and he will know exactly who she means. If that is not me being guilty of the sin of Pride or Vanity I don't know what is.

Death in The Family

My Stepfather George Winston Campbell passed away last night at I think age 69. He was a good man and hard worker and treated my Mother very well.

At the present time I don't know what to say being at a rare loss for words. It's also difficult to cry though tears.

The photo is at Their wedding he is sitting front right next to my Mom. The reason he is sitting is he broke his leg very shortly before the wedding and didn't wish to postpone the wedding till the leg had healed.

Bad Personal Medical News

Just returned from the Doctor to find that after a round of tests I may be borderline diabetic. I need to go for more tests at the end of July. I'm hoping I can drop some weight and improve the outlook that way however it will be difficult as one of the major side effects of one of the medications for my Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia is weight gain. I have managed to lose about 10 pounds since I went for the tolerance test about a month ago. I suspected something was wrong since after drinking the high sugar content drink the give you to test with I felt sick for the rest of the day.

I have a treadmill now need the will power to use it. I also have a super home gym so the exercise part of improving my lifestyle is at my finger tips. Now I just have to motivate myself. I've done it in the past now I just need to find that in myself once more.

In other news the dog got his summer haircut yesterday and I swear he is now half the size he was. I forgot to take before photos but will take some after shots and put them on his blog probably by tomorrow. For a dog who is over 13 he is in darn good shape aside from his blindness.

Movies

Have been watching a lot of movies in as outside it is warm enough to make you consider jumping in the microwave oven to cool off.

Which got me to wondering. What are other peoples favorite movies. I have come up with categories

Historical

Ballroom Dance film

Fantasy

Epic

Deliberately Dumb

Accidentally so Stupid it becomes funny

Movies with twists you don't see coming.

Movies you don't want to watch before bed because they ensure nightmares.

Sorry for the Delay

It has been a long time since I posted.

A fair bit has happened. One my own illness got bad again, bad enough there were days I could not walk the dog. Best I could do was before sunup and after sundown take him out just long enough to do his business and clean up after him. The friend I had taking care of that when I was sick could no longer do it. People often say rumors are only rumors, however for those in delicate situations rumors can result in very strong consequences. In her case she has to avoid them because she has limited access to visit her child. Rumors can be enough to reduce or even eliminate that access. She had been working for me walking the dog when I was unable to plus she worked as my cleaning lady. Because of someone starting rumors she has had to give up both jobs. She walked the dog as a favor for me unpaid and it was a boon to me on my worst days. The working as my cleaning lady provided her with a modest disposable income she has had to give up. I admit $10 an hour was not a huge amount but it did allow some items she would have had to do without otherwise. We remain on good terms but I myself do feel bad she now must do without that small amount of non necessities her working for me allowed her.

I do now have a new and excellent housekeeper I was introduced to via a friend of my step-daughters who does an excellent job. I must admit I am slightly in awe of the networking that exists as a result of my daughter's circle of friends and her personal recommendation to her friends that I am a person her friends can go to for guidance when they need it who is non-judgemental. Maybe the fact that in the past I was the person soldiers came to has stood me in good stead. Or perhaps it is my past as a Cadet Instructor, Scout leader or priest or a combination of all. Reduced overall I would like to thank my daughter in that even though she has returned to New Brunswick she keeps in touch with her friends up here and has done her best to see that those friends make sure her step-father is ok.

Other things which have added stress to me in the last month or 5 weeks are as follows, my fathers Parkinson's"s has increased and my own illness makes visiting him almost out of the question. There is a possibility of a way for me to visit him but it is awkward difficult and will depend on a great deal of luck. The town I live in has no bus routes in or out. None at all. Cab fare to where I could catch a bus is roughly $100 each way. Add my illness to that and things do not look good. However this town has an airport a leftover from training pilots for the Allies in WWII and my Dad's town has one as it is in the middle of nowhere and as a result has an emergency international airport ( ie even the Concorde could land there ) as a result of location. That perhaps I can find a private pilot willing to take me to the airport roughly a $20 cab ride from his place. It would have been no problem when we had the Chinese flying school here as the airport near his home was the other end of their training missions but following last years flooding their school had to relocate to London ( Ont Tracey not UK ).

Back to family burdens my step dad was since my last posting found to have both lung and brain cancer. The Brain cancer was just operated on and he is ok but has lost his driving license as a result of the surgery. My Brother is also moving out of the area which will leave me with no relatives within roughly an hours drive. My Mom and step dad will be forced to move as they are ten miles out of town and unable to afford cabs for everyday expenses.

My mother, father and youngest brother have all needed cataract operations on both eyes within the last six weeks. Something I view as strong co-incidence. Though I have had to wear glasses since my fight with meningitis at 16 I have no sign of cataracts. On the down side I just had my annual medical exam and had to go back for a diabetes test. I have never needed to get one before and even if it comes back positive diet and exercise should take of it. beyond that it is a controllable illness under most conditions. Trying to maintain a positive outlook. I managed to get myself into a position where money wise I am ok for the rest of a normal lifespan. Getting sick when I was about to retire was not in my plans and has certainly affected my hopes and dreams was not in my plans but preparation has in the long run turned out wise. Two years that could not have been foreseen I still try to put behind me..Barriers remain, friends have been lost over rumors, some major choices over where I will live will present in the next year. Right now things are not easy. For the next year when choices present they will not be easy. Then again I never did well when things were easy.

five days of Rain I think

Now been raining pretty much all of the last five days. I only room with one cat and one dog my names not Noah and I'm definitely not a holy man so if is going to last another 35 days I'm in trouble.

Unlike a lot of people I hate walking in the rain. Even with an umbrella. Dodging puddles and in some cases tiny steams at curbs. Even the dog doesn't like it. I think he has different reasons. Some I think have to do with his being blind much of knowing exactly where he is comes from his sense of smell and smells have been washed away by now. He also isn't a lover getting wet, does the dog shake when he gets home. Lucky for me that's still in the hall. He also doesn't like puddles and really jumps over those little streams. I put off non urgent errands so he doesn't get out on those either. Plus fewer folks out means he gets less attention. Right now he's napping and dreaming. I probably would be to were 101

Seeing Depressin hitting Hamilton

Yesterday a friend had a 7 pm appointment in Hamilton. Knowing I need to get away for therapy reasons she drove me to the area which is downtown Hamilton and I headed for the Mall at the City's Center.

I guess it has been 8 years since I was last there.

I was shocked. Most of the mall was closed by 5. Same with almost every store downtown. What was open were coffee shops, sushi shops and the odd convience store. Last time I was in downtown Hamilton you could not find sushi anywhere. I did have sushi for dinner but the waiter spoke no Japanese ( I had to order again in English ).

It looked like Buffalo 30 years ago. I guess only Ray will know what I mean. Not as bad as Detroit but Detroit has not been rebuilt after the wild Halloween in I think it was 85 when most of downtown was hit by arson. My brother lived across the river at the time in Windsor. He tells me most of the people in Windsor took lawn chairs down to the waterfront park and watched Detroit burn. The movie the Crow is partly about that year.

Good news no Panic Attack. Bad news I am exhausted today. ( a marked improvement ). Other bad news I won't be putting up a Blog for Rocky till tomorrow or late this evening. My allergies are also acting up as it is a bit above freezing some trees may be pollinating. Itchy eyes plus the drowsy from the allergy meds. Yes I am going to use some eye drops too.

Even if I don't blog tonight or tomorrow Rocky will. I promised him.

Rocky is 13 Today

Rocky is 13 today it's birthday and no Gail one dog birthday party was enough. Carrying home 3 medium sized dogs who decide to go for a run in the alley is just too much work.

As you know dogs don't age at the same speed as humans of since people say one dog year is 7 human years in theory he is 101. The seven to one isn't exactly accurate. In the first 18 months mature to match roughly a 21 year old human then the rate slows down. It is still faster than us by far but if a dog lives into his mid teens that difference slows down to as low almost 2 or 3 to one. I saw it expressed in a graph once but that was years ago and I no longer have the graph. I also had one for cats. It was even more extreme. A cat is an adult in a few months them of course the curve evens out.

Rocky's blog is doing well it took me over a year to get 9 followers he got 4 in less than a day. I knew he was the good looking one in the family. Turns out he's the better writer too.

Wanted to take a birthday pic. It is to snow and slush covered outside. May try later in the day or if not will wait till his return trip from the Groomer's in the Spring ( Which here means realistically late April ). Human males only get Groomed to get dragged to the alter.

Alters for Marriage Alters for sacrifices. There has to be a blog article in there somewhere.

Adding New Blog

Going to add a new blog. Sort of. It will be the Dog's Blog. Trying to look at the world via the 4 remaining senses of a blind dog.

As he shares my sense of humor only he's nicer and has much more hair I hope it will be enjoyable.

I will let you know when he makes his first posting.

The Blog's title will be Warp Drive Canine Mind Unleashed you can click on it in Blogs I follow.

this should be the link for the first article. Be sure to follow it as dogs love attention. http://rockyhasablog.blogspot.com/2010/02/welcome-to-rockys-blog.html You will need to cut and paste it for now.

Men Mirrors and Haircuts

I got myself a haircut yesterday around noon. The barbershop is literally my neighbour. In fact as I look out the window in my computer room or den the roof I am looking across is the barbershop. It means I get light on a side most apartments above stores don't but because of the V shape of the alley if a slight wind is blowing in the right direction I get a howl like a horror movie sound effect. Has caused a few sleepless night if it is a strong wind. Until sh*t for brains here realizes the couch is very comfortable and uses his single brain cell to decide to move.

Back to haircuts. I joke that there are only 3 men's hairstyles while women have a near infinite number. In fact there probably more ladies hairstyles then there are possible number combinations for the lottery. However men there are 3, parted, unparted and departed. However departed is usually not complete. So we have to get cleaned up at least every couple of months. Not to mention cutting ear hair before we trip over it.

Anyway I was finally about to shut my eyes for the night about 2 am as lately I have been having trouble sleeping. 2am was my finishing time when I worked subway emergency so that or 7 am from when I worked night shift in streetcar emergency are almost normal betimes for me. Not by choice by choice I prefer to sleep midnight to 8 am. Seems that only happens if both the weather and my health are at nice levels. Just as I was taking my last medication I happened to look in the mirror. At that time I realized I had not looked in one since before I got the haircut. Normally I would come home trim my beard and go about but yesterday I needed a few grocery items so got those first. Routine broken I went about my day. Not a big deal but I can honestly say I have no problems in the vanity department about my looks. Can you imagine a women not looking in the mirror for 14 hours after a new haircut.

So a couple jokes. Who would have to be the laziest man in History.

The man who invented the Golf Tee.

Think about it.

How lazy do you have to be to invent something to rest your balls on?

Going to spend the day lowering my IQ

Boredom. Mainly Dumb. Typical winter. So I am going to spend the day watching cartoons. Did it Saturday mornings as a kid and only side effect seems to be a thin line between right and wrong and thinking of consequences of my actions. Over cautious as a result as others either can't or won't do the same.

So a day on the cartoon channel. Didn't have that when I was a kid.

May also get a lottery ticket. Since odds of winning are so low you may as well look at them as contributing to charity.

Danger of Boredom & a Warped Mind

Outside it is like a Christmas Card. Cold just below freezing so not uncomfortable cold. Slight wind so the much larger than average snowflakes fall almost straight down. A quiet, so very very quiet. As Elmer Fudd would say with his accent "Quiet enough to hunt wabits".

Which of course leave me inside no urgent errands to already walked the dog and had my coffee. Cleaned the litter box. Not completely out of closet bachelor meals so no need to go shopping. ( Wallet needs a refill so unless I choose to make the 100 yards or less trip to the bank machine no pizza or chinese food delivered. Mind you the last time the Chinese Food was delivered and the young man delivering it said "Good Day" I replied Ni hao ma. Which is Chinese for I am having a very good day thanks to you. He almost dropped the order. I laughed it is one of the exact phrases I do know so I couldn't resist.

While walking the dog I got to wondering how they leave messages for each other in pee. Now I don't even pretend to be able read dog pee. It makes me wonder though. Are dog pee messages like human phone tag? I live 3 telephone poles and a fire hydrant downwind give me a call. Or are they more like graffitti on Washroom walls. In big black magic marker " My Mother made me a Homosexual" below in a red pen " If I buy Her the Wool will she make one for Me? "

Pee the Canine version of Business Cards.

Some days I think if they take out the engine from a V8 Engine and Replace it with my Brain we will have discovered Warp Drive.

I've Figured out why Men pick their Noses

Due to snow plow activity last night I couldn't sleep. Scraping the ground when moving forward beeping when backing up. As a result I lay in bed thinking. As most of you know at times me thinking is not a good idea. However I did figure out why men pick their nose.

As everyone knows men have two heads but only enough blood to use one at a time. It used to be we were incapable of intelligent thought until our later years. Then they invented Viagra and adult males may never think again. However here is my reasoning of why men pick their nose.

Lack of room. Let's face it our southern heads are nowhere as large as we tend to imagine they are. Can't take much blood to fill it. So if we get stuffed up in the head even a little bit there isn't much room. If enough blood gets up there to engorge our single brain cell the smallest restriction on volume can prevent us from having an idea. So we have to do it to make room just in case. Combined with the fact whenever a man learns something new it pushes out something else to make room that just may have been important. As Homer Simpson said " Remember when I took that home wine making course and forgot how to drive."

Best to err on the side of caution.

In the interest of keeping this blog readable by polite society I won't try to figure out things men do with this substance once it has been mined.

Haven't Been Blogging Much Lately

I have to confess I have not been blogging much lately. In fact as of today I am exactly one month behind where I hoped to be today. Excuses, while some hold up some don't. Excuses are what you tell people for why you did or did not do something. While I had about 6 weeks of Bronchitis which does wear me down that is not the reason. Part of it maybe. Laziness is the big thing.

What had I wanted to be doing.

1. Working and posting the survival book. Partly laziness partly being non-fiction I can't sit down in front of the type writer and hammer it out. I just gave away my age make that computer. I can't have mistakes in that. Peoples lives could depend on my getting it right. Winter I have down cold ( no pun intended ) most of what I will be writing about winter survival I have myself put to the test.

Other seasons in temperate zones will also be personally tested. As will some things like water treatment etc. I want the book to be as useful as possible and am seeing where I need to research a bit more. Not a lot, I was well trained. However I don't want anyone to die of a typo. For once I don't mean that as a joke.

I have many talents however drawing is not one of them. I could take photos but and this is my opinion I don't know if it really holds true. I think a photo has two much information when you want to make a simple point. There is too much to distract. I wish to use mostly line drawings and am still looking for help there. To be honest my stick men don't even look like stick men.

It will get done how fast I don't know.

I wanted to review French at the moment. Studying French was not a game for me I did need to study. Most subjects came so easy I once was asked to read from Shakespeare in class but had a comic open on my desk and the book open but upside down on the desk. I stood holding the comic open didn't lift the book and delivered the speech ( from King Lear ) as if I were on stage. That particular teacher never tried to have me read unless we were taking turns again. I had happened to like that particular speech and memorized it. I can still quote it. That class was in 1972.

However French was hard and the only time I enjoy it is if I am using it. So procrastination is slowing me.

I also wanted to add a new language Odette's to be honest. I am almost ready, getting the written texts printed was my hold up but that is almost done. I tried once before with voice only and to be honest. I have standards for myself I was far from meeting. Shortly I should be meeting them.

So for now I am only going to say sorry for now. I won't say it won't happen again as I am far from saintly and err as all humans do. However I do intend to do better. On the positive side I have seen vast improvements in my illness reducing over the last couple of months and expect that to continue and probably accelerate. In time I should be able to travel. Probably either with a companion or needing medication but that is almost a normal life and I won't complain about that opportunity.

To all I open email soon as it arrives if I am home and awake. If not when I get home or wake up ( not quite true I pee first in the morning ) so to all thank you in a way you are all like a very large distant but effective therapy group.

My Computer doesn't have shelf space for awards

I get embarrassed at awards. That's not entirely true. I almost went into shock when I won best master Cadet. I embarrassed my Parents and Grandparents in 8th grade where I went to an 8th grade only school with 720 students. I won an award for best math student and while the winners of science and English were looking sheepish beside me on stage I was holding mine up to the light to see what was inside the envelope.

The award is supposed to be for contributing to humanity. I'm wondering who accused me of being human. Couldn't have been any member of my family they know better. So humane maybe human nah. Like Groucho Marx said " I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member "

So who do I give this to as I am to pass it to 12.

Tracey of course for physical fitness. She gets me out of my easy chair. If falling on the ground and rolling around the ground laughing via her cartoons.

Ray the Angry American partly for when he does write and partly for when he bites his tongue or proverbial pen. I know he could tell it like it is but as Jack Nicholson said " We can't handle the Truth!!!")

Amy of bubbles blog for realizing she can enjoy life when she looks at the positive side.

Steven Amy's husband not only for his unusual blog but I will also have to give one to his Roster Achmed If I can get award that means it's not limited to humans. Give an infinite of typewriters to an infinite number of monkey's and you will waste a lot of paper.

Gail of Gail's books though she is close in the real world and can pull me down to earth.

Kirst though she has removed one of her blogs for trying to prevent pain and suffering in others.

Fi for her dedication the more evolved species on this planet. That means anything but Man.

Odette for getting so many of us into this and it's therapeutic effects.

My daughter gets two as she just started two blogs. Baby Blog and Balthuer family blog. They are in my blog follow list. The different last name is complicated and I understand her reasoning and do not disapprove. It just may mean extra work for her if I pass before hitting 65 my pension is guaranteed till then. After all even I could accidentally get whacked by a falling chunk of the planet Krypton.

Mimi can I pass you a copy back and here is the reason. Some of what you have told me has me doing extra research for my book. Here we have an earthquake someone is likely to accuse another of passing gas. I know Japan has excellent facilities for dealing with them my Japanese is very slow to translate. Also your police could take some lessons from them. If they have a hostage situation they have special trucks pull up and the back angles at where the hostage is being held. Four or five trucks then they turn on the lights. Each truck is full of spotlights like you use to play night baseball the prokind. Also giant speaker trucks the Rock industry would envy.

A few hours of this then negotiations begin which usually start with the surrender of the bad guys.

The remaining two I will have to divide among blogger anywhere who don't swear, berate, put down or ostracize. The ones who build folks up. Also in the process they are letting all of us know more of the world then the media or ten lifetimes of travel could. All without getting shot at ( With the possible exception of RAY ) ;)

Politcally Correct Reference Books

Beside my computer I keep a copy of the Penguin English Dictionary. I think it comes from the Oxford. ( IN other words English Language not American ).

I wanted to post a comment on Odette's article today and needed to look up the spelling of the name of a Greek god. Probably the hardest one to spell. To my surprise his name was not there. So I thought ok maybe I just can't spell it I'll look up the Roman version and it should have the Greek too. So I check no Roman version either. Which of course started a search for all the ancient God's names I could think of. Not one not even Zeus. I was Shocked has political correctness secretly made it's way into our reference books now.

Is anyone else shocked. Or am I alone in this?

By the Way the dictionary is close to 4 inches thick and has no pictures.

Land of the Midnight Moon

I'm afraid its after 5 pm and I only woke up an hour ago.

I worked the off shifts for so long whenever my system goes slightly out of wack, cold, flu, even overtired It goes back to shift mode.

So I tend to sleep when the sun is up and then up all night and it is very hard to switch back. I never did the rotating shift I would be on nights or afternoons for years at a time. I think out of 29 years I only did 4 or 5 on days.

Human's were meant to function like this. ( not that I am that qualified in the being Human department ) Overall my health is improving greatly. However I am willing to bet I go through a bunch of day night upside down cycles before I am back to so called normal.

My Mom should have named me Abe then given me the middle name Normal.

Oddly Exhausting

In my last post I wrote about having a breakthrough in not having a panic or even anxiety attack travelling out of town. It is a big deal as with the exception of travelling with very trusted friends that was the first time I had been able to do that in Eight years. Sometimes I have had limited sucess with the help of medication.

Since then I have been testing the bounds of my comfort zone. Areas that not long ago were limits that would trigger an attack are no longer triggers I can go past them too problem free. With the exception that I am very exhausted by travelling past these former boundry limits. Though only a little more than a half mile back I took a cab home yesterday. I really was tired after ward and some of you may have noticed I don't think I was even at the computer once. It was minor chores then to bed and not even a book or TV on. ( I am not much of a Music person and don't play music while resting. Perhaps I should develop that habit. It may be more relaxing then I would think in theory. That would be my theory not anyone else's. I saw many live concerts while working at a major concert hall during high school. Most of my Cadet and Army postings were out of range of radio stations in those days. And even the weight of a transitor radio ( maybe a pound as opposed to today's grams and an MP3 player also lets you choose thousands of your favorites. A pound made a difference. In fact we would tend to eat the heaviest of the foods we were carrying first so the remainder of the trip we could carry less.

The exhaustion is I think just the next step on the way to healing. I see the shrink next on the 12th and am going to see if I can slowly change one of my meds. Prevents depression as a secondary effect and reduces general anxiety but I do need it to sleep, it is one of the rare meds which you don't build up a tolerance to its sleep effect. It does have one side effect which was good when I had lost so much weight from the constant attacks years ago. Weight Gain is a very deffinate side effect. I wan't to reduce it replacing it with something herbal but now RX not because the med is dangerous but years ago a batch was contaminated. A few deaths resulted some countries pulled it before the cause was found not to be the med but an accidental batch that had poison in it. Our response was to move it to RX only. I had taken it as a young man with no ill effects ( same for the poisioned batch no ill effects have ever been reported it is the same chemical as makes one drowsy after a turkey dinner ) I also found out some take 24 times the amount I do. So I would like to decreae the other med and increase this. He is a very good doctor and explains why he does what. I know I can't sleep without the first med as on the rare times I forget to take it I am unable to sleep for hours till I remember ( and check ) and found I won't fall asleep without it. yesterday while exhausted I still could not actually sleep till after I took it.

All in all I am enthusiastic that I seem to be getting over this. I have read it came in rare cases cure itself as sudden as it came ( It came like someone threw a switch).

So plans now include saving, moving to a proper city. Then preparing for travel. 2 to 3 years in all as I also want to study when I travel so in additon to travel costs I will have tuition.

Some Good News

As any of you who have read my ramblings for any length of time know I suffer from Agoraphobia with Panic Disorder. In fact it forced me to retire at 51 ( which was the earliest I could have anyway ). It first hit me in 2002 and I dropped 80 pounds from 18 Feb to June 1st when I got myself committed. This was due the constant panic is similar to running full out all the time. Fight or flight response but with nothing around to make you need to fight or run. The worst attacks I would be completely stiff unable to even open my fist reach in my pocket and take an anti anxiety med. ( it for fear of having such an attack while behind the wheel I stopped driving, even though my illness is not one of the must surrender license illness ).

In the intervening years attacks have become less common as well as less severe but always when out of my comfort zone I would have at least a fair level of anxiety. At such a time I would take a med for it. Going out with someone I knew and trusted there was a good chance I could be attack free as well. From my reading this is the case in close to 75 percent of sufferers. My personal best example of this was I was out with my Dad to Walmart ( Which is only almost as scary as Ray also known as Angry American makes it out to be. In fact when he visits I think I would like to take him to a Canadian Walmart so he can see the difference. I have been to Walmarts in the states and he is not kidding in fact toning it down a bit is not an exaggeration. Canadians laugh easily and in the states we often have a hard time not laughing. Walmart should put up sign's no Canadians permitted without muzzles. When in the Walmart with Dad we got separated and after about 20 minutes I began to have an attack. I had my meds and we meet up very shortly after so no big deal

Yesterday a friend who is a casual friend we talk on the street and he is an overall nice person who has given me rides when he is going out of town as he knows it is good for my therapy offered me a ride. He was giving another friend a ride to a nearby city to buy a new guitar. I went with them. For the first time since I got sick, with no meds ahead of the trip or on it I not only had no attack but no anxiety or even apprehension. It may be the biggest single step forward since I first got sick. Doesn't mean I won't have problems next time but is a definite step forward. Thought I would share the good news. With luck within the year I will be able to travel Canada and the States and with luck a year later anywhere ( haven't figured out how to get to the moon yet, give me time ). Maybe learning Asian languages will not turn out to be such a waste after all.

What we have forgotten

Not long ago I read in a comic section of the paper about a kid with a wii ( I don't have one. I don't think I will get one though I could afford one. My dislike comes from watching older kids ( late teens ) playing tennis on the wii and thinking they are good tennis players because they get good scores in wii. Excuse me your feet never moved. Tennis players I know are beat after a game of chasing the ball all over the court. Stand in one place and you will not score a single point.

Back to the comic. The kids grandmother was saying when I was your age all we had to play with was a stick and a wooden hoop. A slight exageration then I realized. I have no idea how to made a wooden hoop. I with blacksmith tools make a metal hoop. ( yes I can remember blacksmiths though they were few and very far between. One of my classmates fathers was a blacksmith and even now the company I worked for employees two. For special jobs fabricating metal that would take way to long to contract out.

I wonder how many other simple things I never learned to do. I don't even know where to look them up. You won't find it on the net I bet and if you do won't understand the instructions.

Just a thought as I was falling to sleep that I decided to get up and blog.

Just What do the letters MD really mean

Update on the flu. Fever is gone so is lots of other things still have some sinus problems as with central heating our air is extremely dry in winter. Thanks to Stella for the nasal spray advice. Something I should have remembered. I am still waking with a whopper of a headache but sinus not migraine so I can make it go away with getting the sinus cavity clear and a simple pain killer. Like if you drop a hammer on your toe you won't notice your headache. ( joking that's a last resort and will not work for migraines. You drop the hammer on your toe and grab your head as anything makes those dreaded things worse ).

My chest has pretty much cleared. I suspect if I use a saline nasal spray at bedtime and whenever I wake in the night the headaches on waking will go and I will be able to get to the things I wanted to start as of my birthday now a week ago. ( I don't cry over spilt milk, I couldn't do anything about the bronchitis and flu. Now if it had been lost chocolate that would have been a different thing. ).

After reading Kirst's blog for a while I often feel like crying over what the medical establishment has put her through. Makes me wonder no make that certain that in some cases MD is short for Mentally Deranged. Many Doctors are arrogant but her's is the first I have heard of who seems a disciple of the Marquis de Sade.

I used a long distance card to talk to Odette yesterday. Hate to say this Odette but I think you phones are not as clear as ours. You sounded tiny. Very nice but even your voice is petite. Mind you here that is considered very attractive both in manner and looks. I'm sure being able to phone you will help me make sure I learn to pronounce your language properly. I hate sounding like a foreigner when I speak. My goal in how well I learn a language is two fold. Be able to read and write as well as a high school grad in the country whose language it is and have natives not be able to tell I am not a native on the phone. It's not hard with spoken Japanese but my French is of two kinds so I have to be there for a while for my "ear" to adjust. It also takes a few days before I am thinking in French. I can make the switch easier in Japanese. ( if someone is only thinking of learning to speak a new language Japanese if only spoken is not hard and is much more logical than western languages. At least in my view )

I also want to thank Stella for offering to help me learn Greek as soon as I finish my 1st run at Tagalog which I expect to take 2 or 3 months ( a fellow Canadian with Greek roots not to be confused with Blonde Roots. As it was my people in Braveheart it was her's in 300. If anyone wants to know what is history and what is Hollywood in either of those movies I would be glad to answer. For example the Scottish mooning the English Army and the Irish King having Edwards Irishmen change sides are both true. The romance between Wallace and the princess is not she was age 2 at the time. 300 is harder but one quick note the Spartan uniforms are accurate. Even the colour and that musical instrument you see them marching behind is a Spartan bagpipe. )

First Fever

As you all know I have been fighting some normal winter ills lately. Something which probably includes bronchitis ( any minor chest infection can do it since I worked the subway tunnels and on the dirty carbon dust from the motors ) Being a life long non smoker it is at worst an irritant that tends to make me tired. Possibly from less efficient oxygen usage. There are what get called the winter blahs on top of that. Anyone who live anywhere it snow regularly for 3 months knows what I am talking about. Even Mimi may as California has ocean dessert and mountains and mountains have snow even in summer from time to time. On top of that I have had more migraines then usual as the weather is more changeable then most winters. Mine lead a storm by almost exactly 24 hours. It isn't always a storm even a pressure drop without precipitation will do the same.

Today I feel as if I feel down a flight of stairs while suffering a migraine. For the first time I have a fever. So Tylenol and fluids ( every notice Lonely Tylenol is the same backwards and forward ) I have to go to the doctor at 5 tomorrow so unless the fever breaks I will also get checked at emergency. I have not had the flue shot only because I know you are not supposed to get it if you are suffering any other cold type illness. I have been getting the flu shot every year since they came out. Condition of employment as we worked with literally millions of people. For our protect in and theirs. A logic I agreed with. Still do. For people in jobs like that. I would normally have a day or two of feeling just slightly weak then be fine. I did once get it when I had a flu coming on and was much sicker had to take a few days off. ( if you haven't noticed I seem to be rambling ).

The young lady who helps me out has gone to pick me up some drinks. and things that are easy to make. I have a big pot of beef barley soup I started yesterday but it won't be ready till tomorrow.

I should count my blessings. At least I don't have H.A.G.S. which is short for Herpes, Aids, Gonorrhea and Syphilis. However with modern science even it has a treatment. You are given a private room and feed a special diet of pizza, pancakes, fried eggs, toast and anything else thin enough to slide under the door.

Weather is here Wish I Was Great

I haven't posted lately. Sorry but I have not been in the mood to write. I enjoy writing and am in a state that takes the enjoyment out of it. I suspect weather may be playing a part. Those of you who are Canadian or if I have any readers in Siberia will be able no doubt to relate. I'm told the weather in Ontario and Siberia is almost identical. Makes sense as both are about the same size ( huge ) and equally far north of the equator. The southern part of Ontario has the Great Lakes to moderate the weather and over 90% live within 100 miles of them. I'm part of that 90% but the lakes only tone down a Canadian winter.

It's not the cold or the snow. It's the dull days and the, sorry but I can't think of a word for it but going about outside is tedious in this weather. It is either very cold or warm and nice that melts the snow and things become wet and slushy, dirty muddy. Or the temp is just around freezing and you have to be careful not to fall. The overall effect is you really hate to go out. Our homes are warm generally cozy and we are pretty much spoiled with all the modern technology we have at our fingers.

I tend to have less severe but much longer lasting headaches at this time. I have been dealing with a low level headache for days now. It has me sensitive to light and it tends to make everyday things chores no matter what they are. You can put off most chores for a bit. Dishes can pile up. You can put off vacuuming for a day or so. Even groceries thanks to freezers and canned goods and I have to confess sending out for both pizza and Chinese in the last week. Two chores are musts. Walking the dog and the cats litter box. Running the treadmill and studying are two things I have put off for now. Running or even walking other than very slowly as when I walk the dog ramp up the headache or if it is gone for the moment bring it back. I can still read if it is something like a novel or humor. I have been reading the Darwin Awards. Got the book from the library. If you need a laugh look them up on the net. It is kept up to date and the formal Darwin awards are a result of the Internet.

So as winter drags ( we can have bursts of good weather for sometimes weeks. This year 2 good days seems the limit. The extra two minutes of daylight each day are very noticeable.

Hopefully I will shortly my brain damaged self. ( I actually have had more concussions then I care to admit ). I will be back to running studies and blogging then.

A Workout Without Opening the Box

I have been putting off buying a treadmill for ages. Mainly whenever I was somewhere that sold them and I had access to a vehicle that could carry it no model with the features I wanted was on sale. Or even at full price in stock.

Today a store at the edge of town had one on as part of it's boxing week sale had the exact one I wanted on for 399.00 it is on next week as well but for 549.00 It is normally listed at 999.00 and this is the first time I have seen it below 900.

I got it home via large cab then as my apartment is above a store had to get it upstairs. With the help of two friends and using the carrier on the wheelchair lift ( it came with the apartment. My Mom uses it rather than the stairs when she visits and when my nephew visits it takes me a half hour before he gets bored playing on it. I can't really complain I still watch cartoons )

But what a workout. I haven't opened the box yet but if I did that every day by summer I would be giving the Governor of California a run for his money. Except I got it for cardio I already have a good gym. So here come my next two resolutions. I get in condition, two get in shape. ( condition is how healthy my body is condition is how it looks ). It would also be nice to have the talking weigh scales say "one at a time please"

So now everytime I finish a run or weight workout I will look at the machine and do my Arnold imitation to it. "I'll be Back"

How can flowers have sex in this weather

I woke up this morning and aside from talking the dog with me and getting coffee. Things like working on the written things I wanted to do were out. My eyes were tearing badly usually my allergies. Took a double dose of anti-histamines to stop it ( they still itch a bit ) Normally I get this if more one of the things I'm allergic to are around. I'm going to turn up the Orick air cleaner for the day ( just thought of that but this is the first allergy event since I got it. previously I liked I could let smokers have a cigarette if next to it rather than step into the hall. Which doesn't really work as though the allergies won't act up I will smell it for days ) I expected this in the spring when the trees and flowers start their semi annual orgy. I say semi because some do it in the spring some in the fall. I test as allergic to grass too and they are exactly the same. The one so many are allergic to and usually badly ragweed ( I wonder if it got it's name because allergy irritation that bad comes close PMS in making people touchy ).

I have worked out one resolution that I am ready for and may even start early. I have a large collection of language lessons. I plan to daily ( haven't decided on my definition of daily yet, weekdays all but the sabbath or 7/365 ) listen to one lesson reviewing a language ( English won't count unless I find a bunch of those voice and diction tapes or Some kind of read along with Shakespeare. I love reading him and the Romantic era poets aloud. Tracey's Byron remark recently was funnier than she could have meant as he and Shelly are my favorites though Elizabeth Barret Browning is darn good. Anyway by one I know right now limits me to French and Japanese. I have roughly 90 half lessons of each. I also want to play one new language each day. So that is an hour per day. To start with I may concentrate on one language at a time am thinking of starting with Tagalog or Odettes national language.I have two separate sets of lessons for it. One includes written and I will start with that one so I can make notes for the one which does not include written.

My written Japanese needs work too. Japanese is not a difficult language till you hit reading and writing. I find it a logical language unlike English or French. French is a bit weird for me as I learned both Canadian and French French. To compare Canadian French has a lot of very old words as if a Frenchman were listening to someone talk in Shakespearian English plus words for newer things borrowed from English. Example the French word for gasoline is l'essense in Quebec it's la gas.

Canada belongs to two language clubs one for French speaking nations and the other for English. Both have over 100 members ( which still surprises me )

Other resolutions and how I will follow them will follow. Ray for your info few in this province speak French and almost none along your route to set your mind at ease. AS until today when it is about zero it had been hovering near -18C That is about -2 for Ray and Mimi. I have been feeling for Chet. The stores keep playing that song about roasting his nuts on a open fire.

Kick it in the Bucket List

I make my resolutions between new years and my birthday which is only 2 weeks later by which time most folks have broken every item on their lists. I don't do bad since I don't just put something down but a how to do it.

I usually last 3 months to item crossed off as done. I do some slipping after the 3 months but am not to bad at getting back on the horse.

Now that I am at middle age ( entering it I hope barely ) I also need to come up with a bucket list. A list of things to cross off before I do something so stupid it's fatal. ( That is the most common way for males to shuffle off this mortal coil isn't it. and if it isn't it probably is the most fun )

In youth we have goal list, school, job, certain attainments. I got some of mine at a ridiculously early age. Priest, Commissioned Officer, Intelligence Officer, Marksman, Mountain climbing instructor and Infantry Platoon Commander all before 21.

By 25 I had a decent set of educational qualifications and a share of adventures and was into a career which would have me retire at 51. Getting sick at roughly the same time was not part of the plan. Blowing my own first marriage which if you only get to have one love of your life was mine. However since I blew that then making my life's biggest mistake is also behind me so there is the plus in it.

So this blog is to look for suggestions. Throw in items you think should be in my bucket list ( some may have be resolutions first ) and I can decide add to list or not my thing. I had a Friend who made a comment about hating flying in helicopters. I said I liked it. Then he added he really felt sick after landing to which I answered I don't know I've never been in one that landed. I've jumped out, rappelled out and rolled out into platoon formation but not with them touching the ground. So going on an ordinary helicopter ride would not appeal to me. Perhaps as part of a date it may be neat. To ride in a chopper in a tux instead of combat gear would be nice. but no matter how easy, hard, time consuming or stupid throw in your ideas.

Damn still sick

Slept through the business part of the day have slight headache, congestion back but not nearly as bad and the race for the bathroom. Hopefully it's just me finally kicking the last of it.

Why this blog seems late

First as many may have guessed I have been slightly sick. Sinus and Chest Congestion mostly but with anything that affects breathing when trying to be witty you only get half way there.

Second just before midnight a friend and reader comment ted are you leaving it at 99 posts this year. As the number 99 has certain meaning for me this is what I wrote her.

99 is a special number in many ways in my life. My Grandfather was one of he original 99's when the subway opened in 1954, I was a subway 99 for many years and also an SRT 99 I ended my time with the TTC as a 199 ( as you may have guessed from this a 99 is a subway or srt emergency mechanic. I streetcars we were called emergency men and went by the number of our trucks I usually worked truck 51 but you could describe yourself as a 99 easier all the drivers, police, fire etc knew what it meant ) It's a good number of articles to end the year on. Btw the whatever was making me congested is gone today.


And to another about living across from a bar

I hope I get to the blog today. As you may have guessed I have been a bit sick lately nothing serious probably bronchitis and I woke fine yesterday. I left the number of articles what it was and I will explain why in the next article if it is today or tomorrow. The other part is why I'm so beat today. I live literally across the street from a bar. I feel asleep watching a movie about 7:30 woke about an hour later and was awake all night. First the merry making from the bar. I don't object to that just wish small town bars wouldn't hire a group based on whose parents hate really each other just got divorced so each would get their drinking age but immature child a drum set.. I thought I knew zero about music. I wish to amend that to close to zero. Add know drums are a preclusion instrument which means you hit them does not mean hitting them is playing them. As the sun came up it was still loud and there were a couple ambulances there. No police, I don't blame them I imagine they were stretched to thing. People where still yelling each other's names. For some reason the now believed everyone had changed their name to Hugh. That is because they could only seem to yell "Hey Hugh". Perhaps to drunk to yell You.

I feeling a bit better, my first couple of trips were to get water. As I get more in my system I'm feeling less weak and the pounding headache is almost gone. Don't be surprised if I cut and paste this into the blog. Along with another response to a friend. I was going to have new years dinner with friends but have slept just slightly too long. Perhaps a good thing I know I need to get more water into me. Glad I don't drink in general and had nothing last night. I think I've shaken the illness just need to get healed from it's having me so worn down. I have been sick with congestion since just before the start of DEC. I look on the fact I'm feeling good relatively as a positive thing. I also had some dreams last night where I was young and healthy again. Another good sign as a big part of them was looking for goals and future plans.


Now that I think about it Maybe Bagpipe licensing would be a good idea. Except where would you find a cop tough enough to enforce it. Few SAS units perhaps Tracey?