Sorry for the Delay

It has been a long time since I posted.

A fair bit has happened. One my own illness got bad again, bad enough there were days I could not walk the dog. Best I could do was before sunup and after sundown take him out just long enough to do his business and clean up after him. The friend I had taking care of that when I was sick could no longer do it. People often say rumors are only rumors, however for those in delicate situations rumors can result in very strong consequences. In her case she has to avoid them because she has limited access to visit her child. Rumors can be enough to reduce or even eliminate that access. She had been working for me walking the dog when I was unable to plus she worked as my cleaning lady. Because of someone starting rumors she has had to give up both jobs. She walked the dog as a favor for me unpaid and it was a boon to me on my worst days. The working as my cleaning lady provided her with a modest disposable income she has had to give up. I admit $10 an hour was not a huge amount but it did allow some items she would have had to do without otherwise. We remain on good terms but I myself do feel bad she now must do without that small amount of non necessities her working for me allowed her.

I do now have a new and excellent housekeeper I was introduced to via a friend of my step-daughters who does an excellent job. I must admit I am slightly in awe of the networking that exists as a result of my daughter's circle of friends and her personal recommendation to her friends that I am a person her friends can go to for guidance when they need it who is non-judgemental. Maybe the fact that in the past I was the person soldiers came to has stood me in good stead. Or perhaps it is my past as a Cadet Instructor, Scout leader or priest or a combination of all. Reduced overall I would like to thank my daughter in that even though she has returned to New Brunswick she keeps in touch with her friends up here and has done her best to see that those friends make sure her step-father is ok.

Other things which have added stress to me in the last month or 5 weeks are as follows, my fathers Parkinson's"s has increased and my own illness makes visiting him almost out of the question. There is a possibility of a way for me to visit him but it is awkward difficult and will depend on a great deal of luck. The town I live in has no bus routes in or out. None at all. Cab fare to where I could catch a bus is roughly $100 each way. Add my illness to that and things do not look good. However this town has an airport a leftover from training pilots for the Allies in WWII and my Dad's town has one as it is in the middle of nowhere and as a result has an emergency international airport ( ie even the Concorde could land there ) as a result of location. That perhaps I can find a private pilot willing to take me to the airport roughly a $20 cab ride from his place. It would have been no problem when we had the Chinese flying school here as the airport near his home was the other end of their training missions but following last years flooding their school had to relocate to London ( Ont Tracey not UK ).

Back to family burdens my step dad was since my last posting found to have both lung and brain cancer. The Brain cancer was just operated on and he is ok but has lost his driving license as a result of the surgery. My Brother is also moving out of the area which will leave me with no relatives within roughly an hours drive. My Mom and step dad will be forced to move as they are ten miles out of town and unable to afford cabs for everyday expenses.

My mother, father and youngest brother have all needed cataract operations on both eyes within the last six weeks. Something I view as strong co-incidence. Though I have had to wear glasses since my fight with meningitis at 16 I have no sign of cataracts. On the down side I just had my annual medical exam and had to go back for a diabetes test. I have never needed to get one before and even if it comes back positive diet and exercise should take of it. beyond that it is a controllable illness under most conditions. Trying to maintain a positive outlook. I managed to get myself into a position where money wise I am ok for the rest of a normal lifespan. Getting sick when I was about to retire was not in my plans and has certainly affected my hopes and dreams was not in my plans but preparation has in the long run turned out wise. Two years that could not have been foreseen I still try to put behind me..Barriers remain, friends have been lost over rumors, some major choices over where I will live will present in the next year. Right now things are not easy. For the next year when choices present they will not be easy. Then again I never did well when things were easy.

five days of Rain I think

Now been raining pretty much all of the last five days. I only room with one cat and one dog my names not Noah and I'm definitely not a holy man so if is going to last another 35 days I'm in trouble.

Unlike a lot of people I hate walking in the rain. Even with an umbrella. Dodging puddles and in some cases tiny steams at curbs. Even the dog doesn't like it. I think he has different reasons. Some I think have to do with his being blind much of knowing exactly where he is comes from his sense of smell and smells have been washed away by now. He also isn't a lover getting wet, does the dog shake when he gets home. Lucky for me that's still in the hall. He also doesn't like puddles and really jumps over those little streams. I put off non urgent errands so he doesn't get out on those either. Plus fewer folks out means he gets less attention. Right now he's napping and dreaming. I probably would be to were 101

Seeing Depressin hitting Hamilton

Yesterday a friend had a 7 pm appointment in Hamilton. Knowing I need to get away for therapy reasons she drove me to the area which is downtown Hamilton and I headed for the Mall at the City's Center.

I guess it has been 8 years since I was last there.

I was shocked. Most of the mall was closed by 5. Same with almost every store downtown. What was open were coffee shops, sushi shops and the odd convience store. Last time I was in downtown Hamilton you could not find sushi anywhere. I did have sushi for dinner but the waiter spoke no Japanese ( I had to order again in English ).

It looked like Buffalo 30 years ago. I guess only Ray will know what I mean. Not as bad as Detroit but Detroit has not been rebuilt after the wild Halloween in I think it was 85 when most of downtown was hit by arson. My brother lived across the river at the time in Windsor. He tells me most of the people in Windsor took lawn chairs down to the waterfront park and watched Detroit burn. The movie the Crow is partly about that year.

Good news no Panic Attack. Bad news I am exhausted today. ( a marked improvement ). Other bad news I won't be putting up a Blog for Rocky till tomorrow or late this evening. My allergies are also acting up as it is a bit above freezing some trees may be pollinating. Itchy eyes plus the drowsy from the allergy meds. Yes I am going to use some eye drops too.

Even if I don't blog tonight or tomorrow Rocky will. I promised him.

Rocky is 13 Today

Rocky is 13 today it's birthday and no Gail one dog birthday party was enough. Carrying home 3 medium sized dogs who decide to go for a run in the alley is just too much work.

As you know dogs don't age at the same speed as humans of since people say one dog year is 7 human years in theory he is 101. The seven to one isn't exactly accurate. In the first 18 months mature to match roughly a 21 year old human then the rate slows down. It is still faster than us by far but if a dog lives into his mid teens that difference slows down to as low almost 2 or 3 to one. I saw it expressed in a graph once but that was years ago and I no longer have the graph. I also had one for cats. It was even more extreme. A cat is an adult in a few months them of course the curve evens out.

Rocky's blog is doing well it took me over a year to get 9 followers he got 4 in less than a day. I knew he was the good looking one in the family. Turns out he's the better writer too.

Wanted to take a birthday pic. It is to snow and slush covered outside. May try later in the day or if not will wait till his return trip from the Groomer's in the Spring ( Which here means realistically late April ). Human males only get Groomed to get dragged to the alter.

Alters for Marriage Alters for sacrifices. There has to be a blog article in there somewhere.

Adding New Blog

Going to add a new blog. Sort of. It will be the Dog's Blog. Trying to look at the world via the 4 remaining senses of a blind dog.

As he shares my sense of humor only he's nicer and has much more hair I hope it will be enjoyable.

I will let you know when he makes his first posting.

The Blog's title will be Warp Drive Canine Mind Unleashed you can click on it in Blogs I follow.

this should be the link for the first article. Be sure to follow it as dogs love attention. http://rockyhasablog.blogspot.com/2010/02/welcome-to-rockys-blog.html You will need to cut and paste it for now.

Men Mirrors and Haircuts

I got myself a haircut yesterday around noon. The barbershop is literally my neighbour. In fact as I look out the window in my computer room or den the roof I am looking across is the barbershop. It means I get light on a side most apartments above stores don't but because of the V shape of the alley if a slight wind is blowing in the right direction I get a howl like a horror movie sound effect. Has caused a few sleepless night if it is a strong wind. Until sh*t for brains here realizes the couch is very comfortable and uses his single brain cell to decide to move.

Back to haircuts. I joke that there are only 3 men's hairstyles while women have a near infinite number. In fact there probably more ladies hairstyles then there are possible number combinations for the lottery. However men there are 3, parted, unparted and departed. However departed is usually not complete. So we have to get cleaned up at least every couple of months. Not to mention cutting ear hair before we trip over it.

Anyway I was finally about to shut my eyes for the night about 2 am as lately I have been having trouble sleeping. 2am was my finishing time when I worked subway emergency so that or 7 am from when I worked night shift in streetcar emergency are almost normal betimes for me. Not by choice by choice I prefer to sleep midnight to 8 am. Seems that only happens if both the weather and my health are at nice levels. Just as I was taking my last medication I happened to look in the mirror. At that time I realized I had not looked in one since before I got the haircut. Normally I would come home trim my beard and go about but yesterday I needed a few grocery items so got those first. Routine broken I went about my day. Not a big deal but I can honestly say I have no problems in the vanity department about my looks. Can you imagine a women not looking in the mirror for 14 hours after a new haircut.

So a couple jokes. Who would have to be the laziest man in History.

The man who invented the Golf Tee.

Think about it.

How lazy do you have to be to invent something to rest your balls on?

Going to spend the day lowering my IQ

Boredom. Mainly Dumb. Typical winter. So I am going to spend the day watching cartoons. Did it Saturday mornings as a kid and only side effect seems to be a thin line between right and wrong and thinking of consequences of my actions. Over cautious as a result as others either can't or won't do the same.

So a day on the cartoon channel. Didn't have that when I was a kid.

May also get a lottery ticket. Since odds of winning are so low you may as well look at them as contributing to charity.

Danger of Boredom & a Warped Mind

Outside it is like a Christmas Card. Cold just below freezing so not uncomfortable cold. Slight wind so the much larger than average snowflakes fall almost straight down. A quiet, so very very quiet. As Elmer Fudd would say with his accent "Quiet enough to hunt wabits".

Which of course leave me inside no urgent errands to already walked the dog and had my coffee. Cleaned the litter box. Not completely out of closet bachelor meals so no need to go shopping. ( Wallet needs a refill so unless I choose to make the 100 yards or less trip to the bank machine no pizza or chinese food delivered. Mind you the last time the Chinese Food was delivered and the young man delivering it said "Good Day" I replied Ni hao ma. Which is Chinese for I am having a very good day thanks to you. He almost dropped the order. I laughed it is one of the exact phrases I do know so I couldn't resist.

While walking the dog I got to wondering how they leave messages for each other in pee. Now I don't even pretend to be able read dog pee. It makes me wonder though. Are dog pee messages like human phone tag? I live 3 telephone poles and a fire hydrant downwind give me a call. Or are they more like graffitti on Washroom walls. In big black magic marker " My Mother made me a Homosexual" below in a red pen " If I buy Her the Wool will she make one for Me? "

Pee the Canine version of Business Cards.

Some days I think if they take out the engine from a V8 Engine and Replace it with my Brain we will have discovered Warp Drive.

I've Figured out why Men pick their Noses

Due to snow plow activity last night I couldn't sleep. Scraping the ground when moving forward beeping when backing up. As a result I lay in bed thinking. As most of you know at times me thinking is not a good idea. However I did figure out why men pick their nose.

As everyone knows men have two heads but only enough blood to use one at a time. It used to be we were incapable of intelligent thought until our later years. Then they invented Viagra and adult males may never think again. However here is my reasoning of why men pick their nose.

Lack of room. Let's face it our southern heads are nowhere as large as we tend to imagine they are. Can't take much blood to fill it. So if we get stuffed up in the head even a little bit there isn't much room. If enough blood gets up there to engorge our single brain cell the smallest restriction on volume can prevent us from having an idea. So we have to do it to make room just in case. Combined with the fact whenever a man learns something new it pushes out something else to make room that just may have been important. As Homer Simpson said " Remember when I took that home wine making course and forgot how to drive."

Best to err on the side of caution.

In the interest of keeping this blog readable by polite society I won't try to figure out things men do with this substance once it has been mined.

Haven't Been Blogging Much Lately

I have to confess I have not been blogging much lately. In fact as of today I am exactly one month behind where I hoped to be today. Excuses, while some hold up some don't. Excuses are what you tell people for why you did or did not do something. While I had about 6 weeks of Bronchitis which does wear me down that is not the reason. Part of it maybe. Laziness is the big thing.

What had I wanted to be doing.

1. Working and posting the survival book. Partly laziness partly being non-fiction I can't sit down in front of the type writer and hammer it out. I just gave away my age make that computer. I can't have mistakes in that. Peoples lives could depend on my getting it right. Winter I have down cold ( no pun intended ) most of what I will be writing about winter survival I have myself put to the test.

Other seasons in temperate zones will also be personally tested. As will some things like water treatment etc. I want the book to be as useful as possible and am seeing where I need to research a bit more. Not a lot, I was well trained. However I don't want anyone to die of a typo. For once I don't mean that as a joke.

I have many talents however drawing is not one of them. I could take photos but and this is my opinion I don't know if it really holds true. I think a photo has two much information when you want to make a simple point. There is too much to distract. I wish to use mostly line drawings and am still looking for help there. To be honest my stick men don't even look like stick men.

It will get done how fast I don't know.

I wanted to review French at the moment. Studying French was not a game for me I did need to study. Most subjects came so easy I once was asked to read from Shakespeare in class but had a comic open on my desk and the book open but upside down on the desk. I stood holding the comic open didn't lift the book and delivered the speech ( from King Lear ) as if I were on stage. That particular teacher never tried to have me read unless we were taking turns again. I had happened to like that particular speech and memorized it. I can still quote it. That class was in 1972.

However French was hard and the only time I enjoy it is if I am using it. So procrastination is slowing me.

I also wanted to add a new language Odette's to be honest. I am almost ready, getting the written texts printed was my hold up but that is almost done. I tried once before with voice only and to be honest. I have standards for myself I was far from meeting. Shortly I should be meeting them.

So for now I am only going to say sorry for now. I won't say it won't happen again as I am far from saintly and err as all humans do. However I do intend to do better. On the positive side I have seen vast improvements in my illness reducing over the last couple of months and expect that to continue and probably accelerate. In time I should be able to travel. Probably either with a companion or needing medication but that is almost a normal life and I won't complain about that opportunity.

To all I open email soon as it arrives if I am home and awake. If not when I get home or wake up ( not quite true I pee first in the morning ) so to all thank you in a way you are all like a very large distant but effective therapy group.

My Computer doesn't have shelf space for awards

I get embarrassed at awards. That's not entirely true. I almost went into shock when I won best master Cadet. I embarrassed my Parents and Grandparents in 8th grade where I went to an 8th grade only school with 720 students. I won an award for best math student and while the winners of science and English were looking sheepish beside me on stage I was holding mine up to the light to see what was inside the envelope.

The award is supposed to be for contributing to humanity. I'm wondering who accused me of being human. Couldn't have been any member of my family they know better. So humane maybe human nah. Like Groucho Marx said " I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member "

So who do I give this to as I am to pass it to 12.

Tracey of course for physical fitness. She gets me out of my easy chair. If falling on the ground and rolling around the ground laughing via her cartoons.

Ray the Angry American partly for when he does write and partly for when he bites his tongue or proverbial pen. I know he could tell it like it is but as Jack Nicholson said " We can't handle the Truth!!!")

Amy of bubbles blog for realizing she can enjoy life when she looks at the positive side.

Steven Amy's husband not only for his unusual blog but I will also have to give one to his Roster Achmed If I can get award that means it's not limited to humans. Give an infinite of typewriters to an infinite number of monkey's and you will waste a lot of paper.

Gail of Gail's books though she is close in the real world and can pull me down to earth.

Kirst though she has removed one of her blogs for trying to prevent pain and suffering in others.

Fi for her dedication the more evolved species on this planet. That means anything but Man.

Odette for getting so many of us into this and it's therapeutic effects.

My daughter gets two as she just started two blogs. Baby Blog and Balthuer family blog. They are in my blog follow list. The different last name is complicated and I understand her reasoning and do not disapprove. It just may mean extra work for her if I pass before hitting 65 my pension is guaranteed till then. After all even I could accidentally get whacked by a falling chunk of the planet Krypton.

Mimi can I pass you a copy back and here is the reason. Some of what you have told me has me doing extra research for my book. Here we have an earthquake someone is likely to accuse another of passing gas. I know Japan has excellent facilities for dealing with them my Japanese is very slow to translate. Also your police could take some lessons from them. If they have a hostage situation they have special trucks pull up and the back angles at where the hostage is being held. Four or five trucks then they turn on the lights. Each truck is full of spotlights like you use to play night baseball the prokind. Also giant speaker trucks the Rock industry would envy.

A few hours of this then negotiations begin which usually start with the surrender of the bad guys.

The remaining two I will have to divide among blogger anywhere who don't swear, berate, put down or ostracize. The ones who build folks up. Also in the process they are letting all of us know more of the world then the media or ten lifetimes of travel could. All without getting shot at ( With the possible exception of RAY ) ;)

Politcally Correct Reference Books

Beside my computer I keep a copy of the Penguin English Dictionary. I think it comes from the Oxford. ( IN other words English Language not American ).

I wanted to post a comment on Odette's article today and needed to look up the spelling of the name of a Greek god. Probably the hardest one to spell. To my surprise his name was not there. So I thought ok maybe I just can't spell it I'll look up the Roman version and it should have the Greek too. So I check no Roman version either. Which of course started a search for all the ancient God's names I could think of. Not one not even Zeus. I was Shocked has political correctness secretly made it's way into our reference books now.

Is anyone else shocked. Or am I alone in this?

By the Way the dictionary is close to 4 inches thick and has no pictures.

Land of the Midnight Moon

I'm afraid its after 5 pm and I only woke up an hour ago.

I worked the off shifts for so long whenever my system goes slightly out of wack, cold, flu, even overtired It goes back to shift mode.

So I tend to sleep when the sun is up and then up all night and it is very hard to switch back. I never did the rotating shift I would be on nights or afternoons for years at a time. I think out of 29 years I only did 4 or 5 on days.

Human's were meant to function like this. ( not that I am that qualified in the being Human department ) Overall my health is improving greatly. However I am willing to bet I go through a bunch of day night upside down cycles before I am back to so called normal.

My Mom should have named me Abe then given me the middle name Normal.

Oddly Exhausting

In my last post I wrote about having a breakthrough in not having a panic or even anxiety attack travelling out of town. It is a big deal as with the exception of travelling with very trusted friends that was the first time I had been able to do that in Eight years. Sometimes I have had limited sucess with the help of medication.

Since then I have been testing the bounds of my comfort zone. Areas that not long ago were limits that would trigger an attack are no longer triggers I can go past them too problem free. With the exception that I am very exhausted by travelling past these former boundry limits. Though only a little more than a half mile back I took a cab home yesterday. I really was tired after ward and some of you may have noticed I don't think I was even at the computer once. It was minor chores then to bed and not even a book or TV on. ( I am not much of a Music person and don't play music while resting. Perhaps I should develop that habit. It may be more relaxing then I would think in theory. That would be my theory not anyone else's. I saw many live concerts while working at a major concert hall during high school. Most of my Cadet and Army postings were out of range of radio stations in those days. And even the weight of a transitor radio ( maybe a pound as opposed to today's grams and an MP3 player also lets you choose thousands of your favorites. A pound made a difference. In fact we would tend to eat the heaviest of the foods we were carrying first so the remainder of the trip we could carry less.

The exhaustion is I think just the next step on the way to healing. I see the shrink next on the 12th and am going to see if I can slowly change one of my meds. Prevents depression as a secondary effect and reduces general anxiety but I do need it to sleep, it is one of the rare meds which you don't build up a tolerance to its sleep effect. It does have one side effect which was good when I had lost so much weight from the constant attacks years ago. Weight Gain is a very deffinate side effect. I wan't to reduce it replacing it with something herbal but now RX not because the med is dangerous but years ago a batch was contaminated. A few deaths resulted some countries pulled it before the cause was found not to be the med but an accidental batch that had poison in it. Our response was to move it to RX only. I had taken it as a young man with no ill effects ( same for the poisioned batch no ill effects have ever been reported it is the same chemical as makes one drowsy after a turkey dinner ) I also found out some take 24 times the amount I do. So I would like to decreae the other med and increase this. He is a very good doctor and explains why he does what. I know I can't sleep without the first med as on the rare times I forget to take it I am unable to sleep for hours till I remember ( and check ) and found I won't fall asleep without it. yesterday while exhausted I still could not actually sleep till after I took it.

All in all I am enthusiastic that I seem to be getting over this. I have read it came in rare cases cure itself as sudden as it came ( It came like someone threw a switch).

So plans now include saving, moving to a proper city. Then preparing for travel. 2 to 3 years in all as I also want to study when I travel so in additon to travel costs I will have tuition.

Some Good News

As any of you who have read my ramblings for any length of time know I suffer from Agoraphobia with Panic Disorder. In fact it forced me to retire at 51 ( which was the earliest I could have anyway ). It first hit me in 2002 and I dropped 80 pounds from 18 Feb to June 1st when I got myself committed. This was due the constant panic is similar to running full out all the time. Fight or flight response but with nothing around to make you need to fight or run. The worst attacks I would be completely stiff unable to even open my fist reach in my pocket and take an anti anxiety med. ( it for fear of having such an attack while behind the wheel I stopped driving, even though my illness is not one of the must surrender license illness ).

In the intervening years attacks have become less common as well as less severe but always when out of my comfort zone I would have at least a fair level of anxiety. At such a time I would take a med for it. Going out with someone I knew and trusted there was a good chance I could be attack free as well. From my reading this is the case in close to 75 percent of sufferers. My personal best example of this was I was out with my Dad to Walmart ( Which is only almost as scary as Ray also known as Angry American makes it out to be. In fact when he visits I think I would like to take him to a Canadian Walmart so he can see the difference. I have been to Walmarts in the states and he is not kidding in fact toning it down a bit is not an exaggeration. Canadians laugh easily and in the states we often have a hard time not laughing. Walmart should put up sign's no Canadians permitted without muzzles. When in the Walmart with Dad we got separated and after about 20 minutes I began to have an attack. I had my meds and we meet up very shortly after so no big deal

Yesterday a friend who is a casual friend we talk on the street and he is an overall nice person who has given me rides when he is going out of town as he knows it is good for my therapy offered me a ride. He was giving another friend a ride to a nearby city to buy a new guitar. I went with them. For the first time since I got sick, with no meds ahead of the trip or on it I not only had no attack but no anxiety or even apprehension. It may be the biggest single step forward since I first got sick. Doesn't mean I won't have problems next time but is a definite step forward. Thought I would share the good news. With luck within the year I will be able to travel Canada and the States and with luck a year later anywhere ( haven't figured out how to get to the moon yet, give me time ). Maybe learning Asian languages will not turn out to be such a waste after all.

What we have forgotten

Not long ago I read in a comic section of the paper about a kid with a wii ( I don't have one. I don't think I will get one though I could afford one. My dislike comes from watching older kids ( late teens ) playing tennis on the wii and thinking they are good tennis players because they get good scores in wii. Excuse me your feet never moved. Tennis players I know are beat after a game of chasing the ball all over the court. Stand in one place and you will not score a single point.

Back to the comic. The kids grandmother was saying when I was your age all we had to play with was a stick and a wooden hoop. A slight exageration then I realized. I have no idea how to made a wooden hoop. I with blacksmith tools make a metal hoop. ( yes I can remember blacksmiths though they were few and very far between. One of my classmates fathers was a blacksmith and even now the company I worked for employees two. For special jobs fabricating metal that would take way to long to contract out.

I wonder how many other simple things I never learned to do. I don't even know where to look them up. You won't find it on the net I bet and if you do won't understand the instructions.

Just a thought as I was falling to sleep that I decided to get up and blog.

Just What do the letters MD really mean

Update on the flu. Fever is gone so is lots of other things still have some sinus problems as with central heating our air is extremely dry in winter. Thanks to Stella for the nasal spray advice. Something I should have remembered. I am still waking with a whopper of a headache but sinus not migraine so I can make it go away with getting the sinus cavity clear and a simple pain killer. Like if you drop a hammer on your toe you won't notice your headache. ( joking that's a last resort and will not work for migraines. You drop the hammer on your toe and grab your head as anything makes those dreaded things worse ).

My chest has pretty much cleared. I suspect if I use a saline nasal spray at bedtime and whenever I wake in the night the headaches on waking will go and I will be able to get to the things I wanted to start as of my birthday now a week ago. ( I don't cry over spilt milk, I couldn't do anything about the bronchitis and flu. Now if it had been lost chocolate that would have been a different thing. ).

After reading Kirst's blog for a while I often feel like crying over what the medical establishment has put her through. Makes me wonder no make that certain that in some cases MD is short for Mentally Deranged. Many Doctors are arrogant but her's is the first I have heard of who seems a disciple of the Marquis de Sade.

I used a long distance card to talk to Odette yesterday. Hate to say this Odette but I think you phones are not as clear as ours. You sounded tiny. Very nice but even your voice is petite. Mind you here that is considered very attractive both in manner and looks. I'm sure being able to phone you will help me make sure I learn to pronounce your language properly. I hate sounding like a foreigner when I speak. My goal in how well I learn a language is two fold. Be able to read and write as well as a high school grad in the country whose language it is and have natives not be able to tell I am not a native on the phone. It's not hard with spoken Japanese but my French is of two kinds so I have to be there for a while for my "ear" to adjust. It also takes a few days before I am thinking in French. I can make the switch easier in Japanese. ( if someone is only thinking of learning to speak a new language Japanese if only spoken is not hard and is much more logical than western languages. At least in my view )

I also want to thank Stella for offering to help me learn Greek as soon as I finish my 1st run at Tagalog which I expect to take 2 or 3 months ( a fellow Canadian with Greek roots not to be confused with Blonde Roots. As it was my people in Braveheart it was her's in 300. If anyone wants to know what is history and what is Hollywood in either of those movies I would be glad to answer. For example the Scottish mooning the English Army and the Irish King having Edwards Irishmen change sides are both true. The romance between Wallace and the princess is not she was age 2 at the time. 300 is harder but one quick note the Spartan uniforms are accurate. Even the colour and that musical instrument you see them marching behind is a Spartan bagpipe. )

First Fever

As you all know I have been fighting some normal winter ills lately. Something which probably includes bronchitis ( any minor chest infection can do it since I worked the subway tunnels and on the dirty carbon dust from the motors ) Being a life long non smoker it is at worst an irritant that tends to make me tired. Possibly from less efficient oxygen usage. There are what get called the winter blahs on top of that. Anyone who live anywhere it snow regularly for 3 months knows what I am talking about. Even Mimi may as California has ocean dessert and mountains and mountains have snow even in summer from time to time. On top of that I have had more migraines then usual as the weather is more changeable then most winters. Mine lead a storm by almost exactly 24 hours. It isn't always a storm even a pressure drop without precipitation will do the same.

Today I feel as if I feel down a flight of stairs while suffering a migraine. For the first time I have a fever. So Tylenol and fluids ( every notice Lonely Tylenol is the same backwards and forward ) I have to go to the doctor at 5 tomorrow so unless the fever breaks I will also get checked at emergency. I have not had the flue shot only because I know you are not supposed to get it if you are suffering any other cold type illness. I have been getting the flu shot every year since they came out. Condition of employment as we worked with literally millions of people. For our protect in and theirs. A logic I agreed with. Still do. For people in jobs like that. I would normally have a day or two of feeling just slightly weak then be fine. I did once get it when I had a flu coming on and was much sicker had to take a few days off. ( if you haven't noticed I seem to be rambling ).

The young lady who helps me out has gone to pick me up some drinks. and things that are easy to make. I have a big pot of beef barley soup I started yesterday but it won't be ready till tomorrow.

I should count my blessings. At least I don't have H.A.G.S. which is short for Herpes, Aids, Gonorrhea and Syphilis. However with modern science even it has a treatment. You are given a private room and feed a special diet of pizza, pancakes, fried eggs, toast and anything else thin enough to slide under the door.

Weather is here Wish I Was Great

I haven't posted lately. Sorry but I have not been in the mood to write. I enjoy writing and am in a state that takes the enjoyment out of it. I suspect weather may be playing a part. Those of you who are Canadian or if I have any readers in Siberia will be able no doubt to relate. I'm told the weather in Ontario and Siberia is almost identical. Makes sense as both are about the same size ( huge ) and equally far north of the equator. The southern part of Ontario has the Great Lakes to moderate the weather and over 90% live within 100 miles of them. I'm part of that 90% but the lakes only tone down a Canadian winter.

It's not the cold or the snow. It's the dull days and the, sorry but I can't think of a word for it but going about outside is tedious in this weather. It is either very cold or warm and nice that melts the snow and things become wet and slushy, dirty muddy. Or the temp is just around freezing and you have to be careful not to fall. The overall effect is you really hate to go out. Our homes are warm generally cozy and we are pretty much spoiled with all the modern technology we have at our fingers.

I tend to have less severe but much longer lasting headaches at this time. I have been dealing with a low level headache for days now. It has me sensitive to light and it tends to make everyday things chores no matter what they are. You can put off most chores for a bit. Dishes can pile up. You can put off vacuuming for a day or so. Even groceries thanks to freezers and canned goods and I have to confess sending out for both pizza and Chinese in the last week. Two chores are musts. Walking the dog and the cats litter box. Running the treadmill and studying are two things I have put off for now. Running or even walking other than very slowly as when I walk the dog ramp up the headache or if it is gone for the moment bring it back. I can still read if it is something like a novel or humor. I have been reading the Darwin Awards. Got the book from the library. If you need a laugh look them up on the net. It is kept up to date and the formal Darwin awards are a result of the Internet.

So as winter drags ( we can have bursts of good weather for sometimes weeks. This year 2 good days seems the limit. The extra two minutes of daylight each day are very noticeable.

Hopefully I will shortly my brain damaged self. ( I actually have had more concussions then I care to admit ). I will be back to running studies and blogging then.

A Workout Without Opening the Box

I have been putting off buying a treadmill for ages. Mainly whenever I was somewhere that sold them and I had access to a vehicle that could carry it no model with the features I wanted was on sale. Or even at full price in stock.

Today a store at the edge of town had one on as part of it's boxing week sale had the exact one I wanted on for 399.00 it is on next week as well but for 549.00 It is normally listed at 999.00 and this is the first time I have seen it below 900.

I got it home via large cab then as my apartment is above a store had to get it upstairs. With the help of two friends and using the carrier on the wheelchair lift ( it came with the apartment. My Mom uses it rather than the stairs when she visits and when my nephew visits it takes me a half hour before he gets bored playing on it. I can't really complain I still watch cartoons )

But what a workout. I haven't opened the box yet but if I did that every day by summer I would be giving the Governor of California a run for his money. Except I got it for cardio I already have a good gym. So here come my next two resolutions. I get in condition, two get in shape. ( condition is how healthy my body is condition is how it looks ). It would also be nice to have the talking weigh scales say "one at a time please"

So now everytime I finish a run or weight workout I will look at the machine and do my Arnold imitation to it. "I'll be Back"

How can flowers have sex in this weather

I woke up this morning and aside from talking the dog with me and getting coffee. Things like working on the written things I wanted to do were out. My eyes were tearing badly usually my allergies. Took a double dose of anti-histamines to stop it ( they still itch a bit ) Normally I get this if more one of the things I'm allergic to are around. I'm going to turn up the Orick air cleaner for the day ( just thought of that but this is the first allergy event since I got it. previously I liked I could let smokers have a cigarette if next to it rather than step into the hall. Which doesn't really work as though the allergies won't act up I will smell it for days ) I expected this in the spring when the trees and flowers start their semi annual orgy. I say semi because some do it in the spring some in the fall. I test as allergic to grass too and they are exactly the same. The one so many are allergic to and usually badly ragweed ( I wonder if it got it's name because allergy irritation that bad comes close PMS in making people touchy ).

I have worked out one resolution that I am ready for and may even start early. I have a large collection of language lessons. I plan to daily ( haven't decided on my definition of daily yet, weekdays all but the sabbath or 7/365 ) listen to one lesson reviewing a language ( English won't count unless I find a bunch of those voice and diction tapes or Some kind of read along with Shakespeare. I love reading him and the Romantic era poets aloud. Tracey's Byron remark recently was funnier than she could have meant as he and Shelly are my favorites though Elizabeth Barret Browning is darn good. Anyway by one I know right now limits me to French and Japanese. I have roughly 90 half lessons of each. I also want to play one new language each day. So that is an hour per day. To start with I may concentrate on one language at a time am thinking of starting with Tagalog or Odettes national language.I have two separate sets of lessons for it. One includes written and I will start with that one so I can make notes for the one which does not include written.

My written Japanese needs work too. Japanese is not a difficult language till you hit reading and writing. I find it a logical language unlike English or French. French is a bit weird for me as I learned both Canadian and French French. To compare Canadian French has a lot of very old words as if a Frenchman were listening to someone talk in Shakespearian English plus words for newer things borrowed from English. Example the French word for gasoline is l'essense in Quebec it's la gas.

Canada belongs to two language clubs one for French speaking nations and the other for English. Both have over 100 members ( which still surprises me )

Other resolutions and how I will follow them will follow. Ray for your info few in this province speak French and almost none along your route to set your mind at ease. AS until today when it is about zero it had been hovering near -18C That is about -2 for Ray and Mimi. I have been feeling for Chet. The stores keep playing that song about roasting his nuts on a open fire.

Kick it in the Bucket List

I make my resolutions between new years and my birthday which is only 2 weeks later by which time most folks have broken every item on their lists. I don't do bad since I don't just put something down but a how to do it.

I usually last 3 months to item crossed off as done. I do some slipping after the 3 months but am not to bad at getting back on the horse.

Now that I am at middle age ( entering it I hope barely ) I also need to come up with a bucket list. A list of things to cross off before I do something so stupid it's fatal. ( That is the most common way for males to shuffle off this mortal coil isn't it. and if it isn't it probably is the most fun )

In youth we have goal list, school, job, certain attainments. I got some of mine at a ridiculously early age. Priest, Commissioned Officer, Intelligence Officer, Marksman, Mountain climbing instructor and Infantry Platoon Commander all before 21.

By 25 I had a decent set of educational qualifications and a share of adventures and was into a career which would have me retire at 51. Getting sick at roughly the same time was not part of the plan. Blowing my own first marriage which if you only get to have one love of your life was mine. However since I blew that then making my life's biggest mistake is also behind me so there is the plus in it.

So this blog is to look for suggestions. Throw in items you think should be in my bucket list ( some may have be resolutions first ) and I can decide add to list or not my thing. I had a Friend who made a comment about hating flying in helicopters. I said I liked it. Then he added he really felt sick after landing to which I answered I don't know I've never been in one that landed. I've jumped out, rappelled out and rolled out into platoon formation but not with them touching the ground. So going on an ordinary helicopter ride would not appeal to me. Perhaps as part of a date it may be neat. To ride in a chopper in a tux instead of combat gear would be nice. but no matter how easy, hard, time consuming or stupid throw in your ideas.

Damn still sick

Slept through the business part of the day have slight headache, congestion back but not nearly as bad and the race for the bathroom. Hopefully it's just me finally kicking the last of it.

Why this blog seems late

First as many may have guessed I have been slightly sick. Sinus and Chest Congestion mostly but with anything that affects breathing when trying to be witty you only get half way there.

Second just before midnight a friend and reader comment ted are you leaving it at 99 posts this year. As the number 99 has certain meaning for me this is what I wrote her.

99 is a special number in many ways in my life. My Grandfather was one of he original 99's when the subway opened in 1954, I was a subway 99 for many years and also an SRT 99 I ended my time with the TTC as a 199 ( as you may have guessed from this a 99 is a subway or srt emergency mechanic. I streetcars we were called emergency men and went by the number of our trucks I usually worked truck 51 but you could describe yourself as a 99 easier all the drivers, police, fire etc knew what it meant ) It's a good number of articles to end the year on. Btw the whatever was making me congested is gone today.


And to another about living across from a bar

I hope I get to the blog today. As you may have guessed I have been a bit sick lately nothing serious probably bronchitis and I woke fine yesterday. I left the number of articles what it was and I will explain why in the next article if it is today or tomorrow. The other part is why I'm so beat today. I live literally across the street from a bar. I feel asleep watching a movie about 7:30 woke about an hour later and was awake all night. First the merry making from the bar. I don't object to that just wish small town bars wouldn't hire a group based on whose parents hate really each other just got divorced so each would get their drinking age but immature child a drum set.. I thought I knew zero about music. I wish to amend that to close to zero. Add know drums are a preclusion instrument which means you hit them does not mean hitting them is playing them. As the sun came up it was still loud and there were a couple ambulances there. No police, I don't blame them I imagine they were stretched to thing. People where still yelling each other's names. For some reason the now believed everyone had changed their name to Hugh. That is because they could only seem to yell "Hey Hugh". Perhaps to drunk to yell You.

I feeling a bit better, my first couple of trips were to get water. As I get more in my system I'm feeling less weak and the pounding headache is almost gone. Don't be surprised if I cut and paste this into the blog. Along with another response to a friend. I was going to have new years dinner with friends but have slept just slightly too long. Perhaps a good thing I know I need to get more water into me. Glad I don't drink in general and had nothing last night. I think I've shaken the illness just need to get healed from it's having me so worn down. I have been sick with congestion since just before the start of DEC. I look on the fact I'm feeling good relatively as a positive thing. I also had some dreams last night where I was young and healthy again. Another good sign as a big part of them was looking for goals and future plans.


Now that I think about it Maybe Bagpipe licensing would be a good idea. Except where would you find a cop tough enough to enforce it. Few SAS units perhaps Tracey?

Christmass Depression

I don't normally get depressed around Christmas. This year I am. I was to go to a lunch at the center today and had even made arragements for someone to make sure I was up it. They made 1 call to my cell which being in my shirt pocket didn't wake me. I woke about 5 and the regular phone had no problem getting two more calls. It had been by my head and the person who was to wake me does have a key.

I was quite upset at missing the dinner especially since I had done my best to make sure I would be able to go. I am seriously considering rethinking this friendship as in the last month it has cost me over $500. Trying to make sure she and her estranged daughter had a good Xmas. As a result I'm a bit behind on some bills.

I was invited to a dinner today now I guess. However since I can't count on being awake on time ( Medications, I don't sleep normal hours or wake easily ). I phoned the family who were out and as politely as I could explained I can't be sure I would wake in time for the 2pm dinner ( it's also about a mile walk we have no public transportation here and I think the few Taxis in town are off tomrrow..

I spent today fasting and will do the same tomorrow. I know Christmas isn't a normal time to fast but maybe I will get some kind of inspiration on just what to do.

I thought I was getting better but this is another slip back. Seems I now have a mild case of social anxiety on top of the other things. I'm on the verge of giving up hope and just arranging to live without going out at all. That means getting rid of both the cat and the dog. I am allergic to the cat and the dog has a bit pain along with the blindness. After close to 8 years now maybe it is time to quit trying to get better and hope for a miracle and just learn to live with the illness.

Going for a Record

I was just thinking and if this congestion that keeps getting the odd migraine thrown in goes on 2 more days it will be the record for being sick without going to hospital. Be it on my own, by ambulance, or after slipping into a coma.

Thing is I am not terribly sick. It's congestion, sinus and the odd migraine. Migraines that if not for the other would be taken care of by ibuprofen or tylenol 1.

The combination is what's wicked. This part will interest stella. For the first time sound caused me to cry from pain. Light had done it plenty of times. Most migraine sufferers can't take bright light. The Olympic torch went literally past my door yesterday or the day before. The cheers were loud enough I was in tears. I had thought at the time ( being sick has me sleeping very odd hours and a friend is taking out the dog making sure he and the cat are feed etc. So I thought the Santa Clause parade had been re-routed )

I'm invited to an X-mas dinner and some friends have asked me to join their family dinner on X-mas. The last time I was over to take something over because the husband was sick ( I can't remember with what but something prevented him walking or driving think it may have been a sprained ankle. His grandkids and son or son and law were there. I visited about a half hour and as I was leaving heard him say to his wife " that man is welcome anytime" and to the rest, Now that is how a gentleman behaves you can all learn from him ). The next time I saw the wife downtown she told me the story and apparently it made an impression because he had never used a person as an example before."

Funny how doing something that is nothing to you can come back to you multiplied in good ways. I've done one other minor favor for the family in the past year and have got a phone call every day since I first got sick with many expressions of hope you can make Xmas dinner.

Assuming I'm well in the next couple of days it brings me to what I what I wish to say. I had to be reminded ( almost have the whole story explained ) to recall the events. It goes with what to me is part of Karma. If you do something and take credit for it are you doing it for them or you. If you do something nice and five minutes later have forgotten about it and won't think of it again unless pushed to then you have done something selfless. From my point of view only the selfless acts count as good deeds or gook karma.

I don't worry about heaven or hell because I personally believe no matter what happens ( if anything in case if it's nothing who cares )that we will be judged fairly and as a result will get exactly what we deserve. So good or Evil, Saint or Sinner we earned it and when all is said and done. We get what should be coming to us.

Good Gnus Bad Gnus

The bad news first. Yesterday about 6pm my time I got hit with the worst migraine I have had in years, decades actually possibly 3 of them. It hit very sudden and unlike the effecting everything hit only my head ( right side as almost all ) made me extremely light sensitive and felt like a screwdriver eye. Not the kind with vodka either.

I could not sleep and finally took a double dose of anxiety meds on top of my strongest pain killers at 8am. I only woke an hour ago a few minutes after all the stores closed and walked the poor dog who had been in 22 hours. Naturally he didn't complain.

The Good news is the headache is now a dull remembrance and I will see what the weather does in an hour. As I had planned on getting some groceries I did get coffee and mint flavored hot chocolate. The rest of the eve I will be eating bachelor food. Hot dogs without buns. Steaks without vegetable pasta with mustard cause I don't ever buy enough meat or tomato sauce for the amount of pasta I buy Ramen and other guy stuff.

Unless the light sensitivity comes back I should be in ear shoot of my email announcer. So I can return email quickly.

Other wise keep up that weight loss plan by laughing your asses off.

PS in the next politically correct version of the Bible Samson will be killing Philistines with the Jaw bone of a Politician.

How to Use this Blog to Spot Reduce Your Rear

I have had lots of people comment that they have to be careful not to drink not liquids if reading my blog. Apparently keyboards don't like being spewed all over by laughter. However they say laughter is the best medicine. So what I am recommending is going back when bored and depressed and reading my dumbest articles.

In email the most comment is LMAO. So why not put that to good use. Reduce butt size by laughing it off. The Useless information diet. Laugh your ass off with just one read a day. Not to be used while drinking liquid unless you have a nose water proof keyboard.

Now I have to figure out how to work on other body parts. Also remember only a plastic surgeon can get away with picking someone else's nose.

Still Fighting the Congestion

I'm sure I have a graphic of someone sick. Unfortunately I have many more graphics that are just plain sick.

I suspect the cold meds combine with my regular meds to form stupid pills. At least they make me feel more stupid then normal. The combination could possibly be marketed as a means for women to find out what it feels like to think like a man. If they can figure out how to make a strong enough dose without being fatal. After all they figure females are roughly 10,000 years more evolved then males ( this last sentence is not a joke but I forget the source of the estimate, I do know it has something to do with handling pain and healing )

Old skills are all no problem but trying to help a friend with a new cell was a major problem. Maybe the problem is I'm not a teenager. I also normally read manuals cover to cover before doing anything. They aren't packing manuals with things anymore because people don't or can't read them. So I found the manual on the net and downloaded it. Awkward way of doing things but It has some advantages I can see. ( reading 110 pages is not something teens are keen to do ) one of the advantages is it makes the mp3 player part of the phone more idiot proof. You can't erase a song by accident. At least the file is a PDF so I can put it on a CD or DVD for her. Likely though the easiest way to do something is get me to do it. Faster than explaining things written in GEEK that I can speak Greek is still on my list of things to learn.

The Side Effects of Earning a LIving

Right now I have a chest and sinus cold. As often happens when I get even slightly sick by body switches back to thinking it's on shift work. Of my 29 years with the TTC 24 were on either night or afternoon shift. ( shifts don't rotate there ). So now my AM & PM as far as my body is concerned are more Odette's on the other side of the globe than my own.

In other words tonight I am more likely to answer an email right away rather than not till what is normally morning for me. Some friends are helping with minor errands like dog walking and trips to the drug store. I my self am watching old Elvis Presley movies. I don't know if the 1st movie I saw was Bambi or Love Me Tender. Since Elvis wasn't in Bambi I'm watching Love Me Tender. I also promised my mom a copy.

The title song is very romantic. Unless I try to sing it. Even without a cold my singing it would cause Dracula to drive a stake into his own heart rather than listen to the noise. You now one more way to kill a vampire have Sid try to sing it love songs. Mom is more diplomatic than Drac would be. She say's "Sidney I love you but shut up". I think mothers love their sons to prevent them drowning us at birth.