Young Drunk Guys's Idea of the Perfect Woman

There are two posts today. This is the comic one so please read the update on Rick Ball’s Running life in the next post.







As Promised this will be a list of what I think ( from having been in many such discussions way back when the Lord was a Lance Corporal ) a group of just turned of drinking age males, would put in a list for the perfect woman.

I am going to assume they have been drinking and are continuing to do so. The items with numbers are things they cfcs is short for comments from the cheap seats which will be interjected. Imagine this as a conversation of sorts.

1. She should have a body like Barbie. Only taller, and not plastic, and anatomically correct.

Cfcs: I always suspected you were into plastic women only I thought they were inflatable.

Cfcs: In your home town the best looking women are inflatable.

2. Yeah she should have been born with all her parts. If I say my Tranny I want it to mean I’m talking about the Transmission in my car.

3. Yeah no tree trunks!

4. She should be a nymphomaniac.

5. And a virgin.

Cfcs: Where your from they have two definitions of a virgin. Any woman with less than 3 kids or you.

6. Right she should be a virgin and a nymphomaniac.

7. And not a Guy.

8. She should be blonde.

Cfcs: Know what you get when you turn 10 blondes upside down? Nine brunettes and a redhead!

Cfcs: You know you’ve got a blonde landscaper if the bushes are darker than the other plants.

9. She should be smart.

Cfcs: If she was smart what the hell would she be doing going out with you?

10. Right smart but with bad taste in men just bad enough to be one of us.

11. She should be a good cook.

Cfcs: Like your mother?

Cfcs: No like McDonald’s or Burger King, or KFC or the Pizza Place. You know good food.

12. She should be good in bed but not know it.

Cfcs: Where are you going to find a Woman dumb enough to think your good in bed?

13. She should own a liquor store.

Cfcs: I need another drink.

14. She should be a nymphomaniac.

Cfcs: Did we say that already?

15. She should be Green like those Orion Slave Girls.

Cfcs: You watch too much Star Trek. Kirk would have sex with a pile of Rocks if he thought it was female.

16. She should be twins.

17. She should be a Mute so she isn’t talking during the game.

Cfcs: anyone who watches sports on tv is a ( multiple choice depending on part of globe ) (Pussy or Wanker )

18. She should be Rich.

Cfcs: Scuse me I gotta hurl.

19. She’s gotta own lots of nylons and garter belts but no panties or Bra’s.

Cfcs: How about Victoria’s Secret Bras and Panties.

Cfcs: Okay but the Panties have to be the edible kind.

20. That’s 25 isn’t it.

Cfcs: How do I know you’ve got the list.

Cfcs: I can’t read my Writing.

Cfcs: you can read period.

Cfcs: I’m getting another beer anybody want another beer. Hey Buddy I need a leak while your in there praying at the alter of the porcelain god take a leak for me.