Army Slang and Insults

Odette was not familiar with Acronyms, Odette since you have not been here long enough to pick them all up don't worry you will. But if you hear one and want to know what it means email me and I will tell you. Mind you Canada and the US are not exactly the same for them.

I know I use a fair bit of army slang. I generally ( nothing to do with Generals ) try to avoid it here. However I realize it may slip out so I will mentions some of my favorites.

A Commando ( US calls them special forces, ) Slang term: Rough and Tough and hard to Diaper.

Very, very dangerous. Slang term: Killed more men than an Army Cook.

Motto of the Commandos ( not slang real motto ): Death from Above

Motto of the Army Cooks corps ( joke motto ): Death from Within

The Army usually during the various times of Basic, Each promotion includes training courses that include versions of Basic meant to be harder and also suit the new job. Go up the infantry ladder and it can get vicious. One thing while you are doing things like trying to not let go of a rope from exhaustion, or keep moving on a 5 mile run with a 10 pound rifle and 40 to 60 pound pack are insults. It's not mean they serve a purpose. At first to make you madder to carry on. Later to get you used to ignoring insults not letting things get to you if for example a protester spits on you ( something I never understood, don't the realize those guns are not for show they are loaded and with live ammo ). Since I was often the one yelled at ( but remember the good ones yelled at others I will do them in first person.

Brechin, it's a case of Mind over Matter, I don't Mind you don't Matter.

Brechin, No One is totally useless. You can always serve as a horrible example.

My favorite which was not part of training just a comment. A Major was making a comment about an Officer Cadet who was a friend of mine and some other Lieutenants standing having a drink in the mess. ( Officers club in the States ). He said " That man has no class " Mike another Lieutenant piped up " Are you Kidding Ron's got more class than anyone I know. It's all Low but it's still Class "

Which goes to show the wisecracks and insults can go either direction up the chain of command.

First up the chain one I heard I was on Rifle coach course as a 16 year old Cadet. 3rd week of a 6 week course. We were all gathered in the common room for a chewing out. Sgt says " I have been getting calls and letters from some of your Mothers. They are complaining you guys are not calling or writing home. I'm 33 years old and still write my Mother every week."

Voice from the back of the Room ( won't name him but he did go on to win the Pan Am gold medal for large bore rifle ) " Does she ever write back? "

With that remark the Sgt lost control of the room. Whole team was confined to barracks for two days but was worth it. I have a story I am telling 40 years later.

Truth in Acronyms

Today we use a ton of Acronyms.

Not a new thing I think while serving it was possible to have a two hour conversation with another soldier and never us a single real word. Everything in acronyms. You got to know when you were out of control when every paragraph ended with over and every conversation with out. Also the word yes became replaced with Roger. That no end tended to bug my brother Roger btw.

However when I say truth in Acronyms I a referring to take a common expression and make it sound more masculine or politically correct or whatever in order to sell something.

What pops to mind is a drug. Specifically any drug to treat what they created the term ED for. All my life we had a term for ED that applied that they chose not to make an acronym and the only reason I can think of is ED seems less funny than CGIU. Now I have never heard anyone say CGIU. They have always said the term in full. However since it has been around at least a lot longer than me why get cute and invent the term erectile dysfunction, when for ages CGIU was used.

in a useless aside how many knew that the mostly male medical community were greatly divided about weather PMS even existed until it was successfully used as a temporary insanity defence in an English murder case.

Comfort

At the moment the photo function is offline which is not bad because I couldn't find an appropriate picture anyway.

Right now I and most folks I know in town are having something don't think it is technically a cold or flu but something. I suspect it is some kind of respiratory illness because first the smokers seemed to come down with it first and worst. Second it seems to give everyone a slight cough. Like the kind you fake when you are trying to hint to someone they are about to do something stupid ( which never seems to work anyway they still do whatever you were trying to warn them not to ) The effect this is having on me is my sleep patterns are terrible either I can't sleep at all or I spend over 18 hours sleeping unable to wake up. The part I find hardest is it seems to making thinking difficult. I am putting off serious writing till this passes as I am forgetting things. I had to make 5 trips to the store to get toilet paper. I would get there and forget why I went. However as to the article title at the Sally Anne I saw a chair I really like and need to replace my computer room chair so I bought it. A friend helped me get it home and in the morning I will give it a good cleaning. I do have an upholstery cleaner. I use an easy chair lazy boy recliner type at the moment. Can get away with that as I have a huge screen and wireless keyboard. This is really a living room type chair I bought and big but is so comfortable my only fear is I am likely to fall asleep in front of the computer.

There is no harm in spoiling oneself.

The Pen is Mighter Than the Sword but it's No Match for a Gun

For anyone wondering yes I have been doing some work on my books. I am finding the hardest part that I am writing for a target readership whom I have not wrote for in the past.

On top of that I have not been sleeping well for the past several days due to nightmares. Which explains being up at 5AM my sleeping patterns are way off.

So over the next little while certain of you will be getting chunks of the serious book to look over for me and those who agreed to do this thank you very much. The reason you will be getting chunks rather than the whole thing is some chapters are only applicable in some parts of the world. For example Tracey doesn't need to know about Polar bears. I almost typed beers instead of Bears and I am sure she knows they are cold and that is all she will practically need to know about them. ( we actually have such a thing here and in the states and the can changes colour if the beer is cold enough. This is not a joke ask your yankee readers. )

The only person I expect will read all the chapters is Matt who is ex US Navy but part of that is out of interest on his part and part out of a church duty that overlaps. My brother George will likely read it all and make suggestions but he was there for much of my polishing the skills and if anything is even better at it than I am. He can also get more technical yet has more of a talent for putting it in common words than I do so I definitely want him to look it over. He is the type of guy who if he feel in a hole with a Polar Bear after the screaming stopped George would climb out burp, wearing a new white fur outfit, with a supply of meat to last a couple weeks and fuel made from the fat. He would have also known not to eat the one part of only two fur bearing animals which is poison to humans.

Oddly while writing memoirs and stories the computer is great. For the survival aide memoir I am finding old fashioned paper and ink or pencil more practical who would have guessed. Especially since I have been using Word Processors since they had a name and before that could use a manual typewriter. Odd some things we learn about ourselves.

Your Password is Secret

I don't know how many of you recall when computers and before the net was as public ( hard to believe it started as a weapon of sorts. Not the weapon itself but how we were supposed to communicate to stop a war after everything that could be destroyed was. The only survivors would be eaten corn, old episodes of M*A*S*H, peoples memory of the most embarrassing thing you ever did. Sorry to inform you but when you get met by your favorite friend or relative at the end of that long bright tunnel on leaving this mortal coil. The first words you hear will not be "Welcome to Heaven" they are more likely to be " Remember that time you......"

Anyway I was thinking about the early days of computer mania and this new thing the net. People were shocked I was able to guess most of their passwords on the first guess. If you had one of those early 300 baud modems you may have even done this.

I would guess your password is and I would write down the word secret. Most would be shocked how did I know that. Now that you are a sophisticated member of the cyber community you may laugh at this. Books of the time made a point of saying. YOUR PASSWORD IS SECRET. Do not tell anyone your password and the readers would happily type in secret as their password.

Nice Day but Not in in a sense

It has finally turned nice out. What we often call Indian summer. I even got a Thanksgiving card in the mail today. Thank You. For our American friends who think Thanksgiving is next month just remember it is basically a harvest celebration being further north our harvest is of necessity earlier.

As to the not in part I am in the process of defragging my largest drive the 1.5 T drive which takes close to 24 hours. I can do some in fact most things at that time but prefer not to save accidentally writing to that drive. At that time. My mail and internet programs are on one of my 1 T drives and I have already done all the rest. Mainly while sleeping. Isn't multi-tasking great when sleeping is one of those tasks.

Attention Mothers

The Army had a version of Multi-Tasking they called concurrent activity. It meant as a platoon getting more than one job done at the same time. For example a Patrol being done while others did dishes or laundry. So next time ask if they want to play Army and they have a choice of volunteer to wash or dry.

I Hate the Rain

Might sound a bit wimpy but I hate the rain.

Wasn't always like this a misadventure mountain climbing at 20 had me stuck literally overnight on the side of a cliff face as it rained most of the night. Once the rain stopped falling my partner and I were able to get to the top of the face very quickly. Climbing wet limestone is like climbing wet soap. Winds dry the rock very fast but that was only half the problem. Climbing up is perhaps a tenth as hard as climbing down. Especially in the dark, today battery technology I imagine climbers in similar situations would have headlights that would last till dawn. In 1974 no such luck.

Top of the face, not the top of the mountain our goal had been to climb a face that according to the record books had not been done before. The storm came from behind the mountain. Mountains create mini weather effects on their own. We didn't have fore warning. So we ended doing an unclimbed route about half in the dark. Perhaps 2,000 feet of rock face or 200 stories if you compare it to buildings. That wasn't the worst we were still soaked to the skin and with night though not terribly high maybe 8,000 feet maybe another 500 the mountain was 9,386 total. However night still meant temperature dropping below zero. We moved north as we knew there was a trail to a cirque and if we hit the cirque we could slid down it to the trail. We didn't make it that far. Two miles in the dark would have been a fair feat anyway. On the way we hit a treed area. Our combined survival training mine military his as a Swiss climber let us build a fire and remain awake. I can not recall ever being so tired.

Night that high up is short. With the sunrise our clothing quickly dried. We rappelled down the mountain and hitched a ride back to base. Just in time to take out classes both of us has scheduled to teach that day.

For years after that I did not know why rain made me very uncomfortable. One day about 15 years later I was telling the story of that climb to a friend of my wife's who happened to be Swiss. Suddenly I stopped. Though I had told the story many times this was the first time I made the mental connection. That day had been the start of my mild amaphobia. No need to look it up. It means "fear of rain".

The Tooth the Whole Tooth and Nothing But the Tooth

As you may have guessed I have a dental appointment in about a half hour. Also since I am not one of those people who have dentist's and shrink's for their dog's. Dogs do a big part to serve as effective shrinks on their own. The look at you like they are listening. Cause you to repeat your last statement only without adding your mother to the statement. btw I put this on my own post today and did not get it mixed up with Rocky's.

I don't think it got as cold as forecast but a warning from someone we were in for frost did have me put the hear on so I many just not have noticed. It is cool here today. Being Canadian I should define our version of cold. Cold means the temp is low cars won't start. Really cold means the snowmobiles won't start either so you can't dress in a suit NASA could use for a Mars landing and enjoy your day off because everything is closed.

Not sure if the above cartoon is apt as I can't recall if this is my extraction on some other evil dental procedure. Every notice if they want to give you the impression someone is about to tortured in the movies they show dental tools.

Have a good day all and may your Teeth keep ALL their parts

Whose Afraid of the Wicked Witch

Daddy said yesterday like we were going to get taken to some place called Oz. I didn't know where Oz was but Daddy has a movie from a time called 1939 and the Movie is Called the Wizard of Oz.

Don't know why everyone was scared of the Witch. Toto must have been a really wimpy dog. The Witch couldn't handle water. I would have seen how much she liked a leg full of dog pee.

Ruff Said!

Feeling Every Second of my Years

It's not quite 9AM and it is one of those days I feel every second of being in my 57th year. Which is an old fashioned way of saying my next birthday is my 57 but I've finished 56 whole years and feel at least that old.

I feel as if I have just had the above medical procedure and am having all side effects of taking some modern miracle drug designed to very effectively cure disposable income and have been abducted and subjected to unthinkable acts by assorted kinds of space aliens.

I'm sure all of you know what I mean. I really have nothing wrong with me but nothing feels right.

I live across from a tavern and last night they had a band. Okay it's Friday night goes with the territory and when they do get a loud band I tend to watch DVD movies with surround sound on so the Movie drowns out the bar. I did really enjoy the one I choose to watch for the first time last night. I had bought it earlier in the week and to be honest am surprised I hadn't seen it months ago as it came out last year. Jackie Chan in "The Spy Next Door" a spoof of both high tech spy movies and babysitting flicks. I enjoyed it very much and found my amused at myself knowing exactly which James Bond theme they were using in the score at any given moment. On top of that I picked up on some tv spy themes from the 60's and 70's. So though I was not up terribly late movie and bar both were done about 2. My allergies are not bothering me. The pets woke me about 7 for some reason. Maybe they heard something outside I'm limited to human hearing. The sky looks like there is a trip to Oz scheduled for later on today. I have not had my coffee yet. ( it is sitting in front of me as I type and the dog has been walked ). I just feel blah. I think I have one of those energy drinks in the fridge and if I don't feel more like something which at least has the ability to walk upright may drink it in an hour or so.

Looking out the window of the computer room it really does like that trip to Oz is a possibility. I hope not. This weekend is the county fair in the next town over and a number of friends who belong to the same mental health support group I do are going to be manning a booth there the aim of which is this coming week is mental health week and they are part of a nationwide maybe bigger effort to reduce the stigma people associate with mental illnesses. Makes sense a mental illness is not like a tattoo, you don't choice to get one as well as when and where. ( though at time I have thought of getting one with the oriental symbols for "Stupid White Man" Though I only know how to say it in Japanese the meaning is the same in several languages. ) Also I am the only member of this particular group who is also a card carrying member of Mensa so I sort of feel I should be there even if only to prove that having a genius IQ does not make you crazy but it can't prevent it either.

The short version of this whole thing is I have a premonition it is going to be " One of those Days. "

Head Cold

Good thing I had almost no e-mail today. The expected well due butt kicking from Tracey as expected thank you. There are various forms of encouragement and one of the most effective comes only from mother's, Wives, Regimental Sergent Majors and Ladies of Scots Ancestry. Tracey belongs to the last group but at times she can be as motivating as members of the Third.

I slept in first. Then got a call from my housekeeper asking if I had any medicines for head colds. I do get allergies almost constantly but rarely a cough, possibly as I have never been a smoker. In fact tobacco starts my eyes watering as badly as pollen or the cat sleeping on my chest. Unlike the latter two I can normally avoid tobacco. It isn't the smoke which apparently triggers allergies but tiny particles of unburnt tobacco carried by the smoke. At least according to the Doctor who first Dx'd me as allergic. I unfortunately can't tolerate the shots to reduce your allergies. Perhaps six hours after one I will have a terrible migraine which can last for days. So instead I rely on simple anti-histamines. It's not so bad. First they are pills not shots and the main side effect drowsiness you soon get immune too. I gave what I had for cough to Tina as I said I rarely get coughs and these were from my last cough which must have been during the winter ( summer for Kirst I'm on the other side of the equator ) and all were getting close to their expiry dates. However it is going around as they say and there is lots of vacant space in my head so I have one of the symptoms. Excessive sleeping. Two coffee's one more than normal. ( I would have had more but I slept till after the coffee shop closed when I tried to watch some television in the early afternoon and woke after dark.

Took the dog for a pee walk did get a coffee from one of those places that plans to stay open right through the second coming.

Ever notice that nowadays the lists of side effects on any kinds of pills is longer than the dictionaries we used our last year of school. And side effects the 3 stooges could not have come up with as well. Ringing noses, Runny Ears, Watery Navels, Dry Itchy mouth, Premature you know what and green and red stuff popping out the end on top. Erections lasting under six seconds or over six hours. I think our wives are used to the first but they say you should call your doctor if it lasts over six hours. I figure they came up with that number, because the people at market research calculated it would take you five hours and fifty-nine minutes to call and brag about it to all your other friends first. Worst thing is that's not on a box of cold pills but the side effects for a tube of M&M's or a pack of breath mints. Actual medications probably warn against abduction by space aliens ( as opposed to the kind from neighbouring nations ). I also have come to the conclusion that the space alien sudden interest in probing is our own fault. Things used to be plain run of the mill bright lights and autopsy while still living. Then we started to broadcast of various government sessions convincing them beyond any possible doubt that there is no intelligent life on this planet. Try watching a government broadcast and in less than five minutes you likely will have reached the same conclusions the aliens did. Why keep up the probing and why there. Maybe like here if they don't use up this years budget next years will be cut and after watching our world leaders on television they figure if they are find any thinking that's the place to look because it's where our officials normally keep their heads.