Dental Worries

I am very recently returned from the dentist. As with all in life there is good and bad news. Ever since I was treated with massive amounts of tetracycline when I had spinal meningitis at age 16 in order to save my life I have had bad teeth. First the almost immediately became a kind of grey colour so I have never had the bight smile some are blessed with. Second it did affect dating as a teen and even as an adult. I don't have the confidence around members of the opposite sex even as much as I should. I am sensitive about it to the point I have now not dated for years. ( my last marriage being a bad one didn't help I'm sure ). Each year I would need a number of visits to the dentist and though I had good coverage I knew my teeth would not last my life. Part of the bad news is that time has come. The good news is dentistry has come far enough that I may be able to get the smile I never had when young as a result of implants. The bad news that goes with that is the cost is very high. Though I will probably go through with it and end up with the smile it will at the very least put other hopes and dreams some years into the future. I'm looking at a cost of up to $10,000. Over time I am sure I can handle that but other dreams like travel possible education or even accelerated recovery from my illness will be if not completely on hold they will definitely be on hold for some period to come.

When I first got sick I basically lost all I had managed to earn in a lifetime of work and study. I have been slowly making my way back onto my feet with time but now may find I slip back a bit or at best by cutting back on many things be able to stay where I am for now. In time I am sure I can be moving forward again but it won't be for a while now. All I can do is keep trying my best but I know I am going to find myself forced to cut luxuries and doing works for others in general that does make me feel I am managing to contribute something back to the world instead of just take from it. For me it is important that I do or give something back the concept of a "free ride" even though most people feel I have paid my dues I feel as we keep getting from the world it is important I keep paying my dues back in thanks for that which I do receive. Funny but right now the same moral code which has dragged me through some pretty tough times is now making me feel I am not living up to the code and am still dragging on however. All will be well. Nothing remains the same. There are good days, weeks, months, even years as well as bad ones. I just hope this is just a bad day and I manage to at least adjust my attitude to a more positive one. As far as things in the world go I really do have it pretty easy and should be much more appreciative of that which I do have.