About a year ago at the suggestion of a friend I began blogging.
For a long time it was very enjoyable.
However lately old wounds long healed have been reopened by friends trying to help but were in reality picking at healed scabs until they were bleeding badly.
I am also at the same time having some problems closer to home. For example I expect I will never see my grand daughter ( She will be two this week and I have not met her ) and now my daughter is expecting again I doubt she will be able to finish college as a result. It is almost impossible to train to become an auto mechanic if you are expecting ).
There are other things closer to home. Both parents are ill and all of my brothers are having economic problems. Which me who is retired and on a disability and really can't help anymore than I have. All of this has led to some worsening of my health and my self esteem has taken a real beating. I am really at the limit of anything more I can do to help.
So I will leave what is on the blog for a couple of weeks in the event anyone for any reason wishes to keep copies of anything I may have wrote then taking it down.
Thank you too all of you for the support you have given during this past year.
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Wait a god damn minute........ Have a break from blogging, pull your bloody self together & get back to normal. i am shouting at you now...can you tell?! Don't be a pillock............Or do I have to get on my broom & come & punch you? XXXXXXXX
ReplyDeleteTrace rofl you are so cool sometimes! Ditto on what Trace said Your a great blogger Sid, you have some good insight and a wealth of knowledge, at least on here you know your not completely alone and people are regularly checking in.
ReplyDeleteIts your choice in the end though :)
Thanks Kirst: ( either photo's don't lie or NZ has more than one supermodel ).
ReplyDeleteI wrote Trace a long why letter. I hope it's not permanent but right now the fan is gooey and stinks.
I hope to keep and hear from the friends I have made here especially those as close as you Trace and Odette who talked me into this in the first place.
Get Trace to cut and paste from the letter I sent here. ( she could even forward you the whole thing ) there is just something that is making things much harder that I think should be kept private as to my feelings to someone close ( here in Canada ). I don't wan't to upset them.
I haven't received anything Sid! When did you email it?
ReplyDeleteSid, whatever the reason, don't delete your blog. Just do what Tracey said and take a break. You are lucky to have made friends that care about you. Just look at all the beautiful women you have as followers!
ReplyDeleteSid,
ReplyDeletei was happy when you had started blogging coz aside from a lot of information you had shared with us, we get an insight into your psyche. contrary to your belief, you are in fact a very funny and witty person. we would love to sit around you all night long listening to your tales and laugh with you. but i would also understand if you feel not up to writing when you are feeling down. but Sid, that feeling is temporary, it will go away and pretty soon you will be excited to relay to us what's going on in there.
what i am trying to say is, don't delete your post. leave it. you need not feel oblige to write if you don't feel like writing. but we will be always be here straining our neck watching out for a new post from you. our little community will never be the same w/o you.
i am sorry i have triggered this sadness...
love you always,
xoxoxoxo
Okay I will leave it up but remember only a fraction of the articles are practical some are just my warped sense of humor. ( Canada's other export after snow, some may be interested in knowing how many Canadians are hockey nuts I don't know how to skate and hate hockey as I find it boring ) I used to in High School call hockey player wimps and then say if they had guts come with me next time I practiced one of my sports. As it was usually Mountain Climbing most would admit that by comparison their sport was not as brave. Especially if I was doing ice cliffs. Knowing I went camping year round made a lot of them think me crazy too.
ReplyDeleteRay I owe you some info on a winter survival course. I unfortunately can't send you a full copy as it was pre computer and there were only 4 copies all hand written. But I can explain how the Marines got first embarassed by the cadets then many of them became life long friends.
If I can stay awake I will send you the gist of it now. the rest by tuesday. I have my phone cable internet changed on monday and want to move some furniture first.
The kitchen and bathroom won't have cable internet or phone so if you visit you will need to bring some of America's gross national product. Monogramed toilet paper
The thing we love about you is your warped sense of humour....
ReplyDeleteTrace: that warped sense of humour ( my brother's share it ) is really a survival mechanism. I changed schools 13 times before I finished High School. Thinking faster than others kept me out of a lot of fights. Bullying is still my "pet peeve" but it is done differently now. At least in my day you fought and walked away as friends. Also what was a male thing has become a female thing & from what I have seen. A guy may crack your skull open ( then ) then take you to hospital. Anyway when the fight was over so was any animosity. Girls ( help me with this ladies ) could make Hitler look like a saint. They hold grudges, can pretend to like a person ( this seems to be only with their own gender again yes or no ) until years later the chance to do something really mean. I don't mean stealing a boyfriend ( if he's at the stage where he's that kind of ass you did her a favor ) but real mean.
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm up to blogging again I may go to the High School and get some of their new stuff on bullying. Guys still have not evolved ( we refuse to because we don't know what the word means ) but there is lots of stuff about girls being downright evil.
Hello Sid,
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear your self- esteem has taken a beating.This blog was a place to escape those very problems you speak of so articulately and that we all have in varying degrees.
I do not know what triggered this but clues are there where you say women remember and they come back to hurt you in the specific manner you describe. I have also found this to be correct and also experienced some bloodthirsty retribution that was way overblown ; like taking a machine gun to kill an ant.. I know what you mean.. I have also found that many men do this and it is the malicious streak that has become fashionable or rather a way of life.
However I do not agree that this is a unified civil code for all women.In fact, I think that this inhibition reagrding certain women you know and what they do is what is keeping you back from finding the one lady you seek. Because all women are not like this.Neither are all men.
Parachuting away is not the answer to this Sid and I, like the others ask you to re-consider or perhaps come back at another time when none of us are interested anymore?
Do you see how you have set yourself up for future disappointment.Say you do want to leave the blog because of all the aforementioned reasons and decide one day to return.Most of us will have moved on and will not be able to follow you as we would like to.
Hopefully, all will work out well in your sphere.I see your faith a bit shaken.May God Bless you and Keep you.
And Sid thanks for these written memories memories............
Stella:
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kind words. They are nicer than I deserve.
Right now I am under pressure from a variety of sources. This town being so small my not driving and the fact there is absolutely no public transportation here is a big barrier.
For example if I made contact with a lady in the next town and went to meet her Cab Fare would be over $150 for the return trip. ( and that would be if she were at the near end of town )
I had to retire due to a disability that can keep me from travelling at all. ( I've mentioned it in the blog at times ). I wanted to spend my retirement traveling the world. I have even gone to the trouble of learning 4 languages other than English including Japanese. Now I try to look at it as kind of humorous living in a place where most can't even speak French though they take it for 8 years in school.
My favorite line from the Bible is Ecclesiastes 3:1 To Every thing there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
Things change for better for worse but they never stay the same. I consider myself far better off than most. I also expect that I will see better days and many great and amazing wonders.
Tracey talked me into not deleting anything. So on good days I will do some more writing. Probably more of my usual non-sense. It cheers me up more to make people laugh more than almost anything else. (the one thing that lifts me emotionally spirtually physically and every other way I can think of is when I climb a new mountain peak for the first time. With all their mountains if I do get over my Illness I may just find myself in NZ for the amazing climbing they have.
Hi Sid.
ReplyDeleteAll of the above is good to hear except that of your not being to get around without bankrupting yourself. Well there is a method to car-lesss and do so and if interested pls e-mail at stellam 907@gmail.com. I will let you know if it is possible in your area.
In the Bible I love the Apocalypse of St. John.
Sid,
ReplyDeleteAre you sure you're only reason for future travels to NZ is to climb mountains or is meeting their supermodel part of the equasion too? (smart ass question, you don't need to answer) 8)=
I'm glad you're keeping most of your posts. I may not always respond but I still love reading them.