The Trip

Ok as I said the trip went well.

The photos I took after some point didn't take. Possible after I changed the batteries I need to play with the camera some more to get used to it. I did get a new card reader so X off one early Xmas gift to myself. I also got myself a new 7 slot usb hub on sale dirt cheap.

Weather is more typical December now very cold. No snow yet. I woke up sneezing like crazy. Cat must of slept on my chest again.

My friend Rick, this will say it made the paralympic team I think I sent all of you the link to the news article but basically it says he made the team.

We have a shopping trip with the group on the 4th and a dinner Magic show on DEC 10 here is the link www.GregFrewin.Theatre.com we will be in the Platinum seats so it should be good unless the Tigers eat someone. In my youth the danger would have been my brothers or Army buddies trying to eat the Tigers.

I hope those trips have better weather so I can guage anxiety better yesterday I was unable to tell if any manifested as part of the migraine. Aside from messing with my sleep pattern and lasting a long time it was not bad. I've stopped sneezing before I had time to take any anti-histamine so that much is good. It is just darn cold outside so I am going to do my Bear imitation and hibernate.

Some Positive News With Regards My Illness

For once I have had a couple positive things happen as far as my illness goes happen back to back to back. In the hopes that good news happening to one of us may rub off on the other I am going to tell of it here.

As many of you know I have Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia.

The more I learn about how common it is the more amazed I am.

I have just joined a group for folks with various mental illness. The big advantage for me is they travel a few times a month and the complete lack of being able to travel has for the past while been a brick wall as far as the progression of my therapy and improvement possibilities go.

I have learned a bit more about it and find having abuse in childhood makes it more likely. My moving and peer abuse my be a factor plus for a time my Mom was abusive. I have forgiven her and now even know what brought about the change in her personality that caused her to become abusive for a time. Unfortunately it was about 10 years.

However the being able to travel is good news. Now for some more. When things get even slightly bad sleep patterns get poor for me and there is a bit of a snowball effect. I speak like I write. Or to put it bluntly the kind of things you see me write ( down to the wisecracks and bits of totally useless knowledge that led me to give the blog it's name ). While at the shrink's I happened to mention I wished L-Tryptophen the natural chemical found in turkey that makes you so sleepy after a turkey dinner had been pulled from the market 20 years ago after a contaminated batch killed some people in the states. He commented it wasn't pulled they just moved it to being an Rx and wrote me an Rx for it right away. There has never been any bad effects attributed to it as it was the contamination that had done the poisoning. It has even had some good results in conjunction with other meds in treating a number of illness including mine. He apologized for not thinking of it himself. It isn't a popular drug and the pharmacy even had to special order it in for me but I think at least one aspect of a problem with my illness will now be a thing of the past. And without the calories of a big turkey dinner.

Third came as I was discussing whether my level of concern over something outside my control going on in my life was warranted. He made a point I am surprised I haven't heard before considering the length of time I have been being treated for this. He commented that in many cases of illness in the anxiety family it is not a particular event that triggers the anxiety but that the anxiety is there waiting and when something happens it latches onto some event to blame. Knowing this may help me avoid over reacting to things and thus help keep the general level manageable.

I don't know if any of this will help any of you but even if it doesn't maybe some of the good luck will rub off. One of the first events with the group is a shopping trip to a nearby city so I may be able to pick up some gifts for some of you. As Tracey knows with postal speeds you may be lucky to have them for next Xmas. The next is to a High End Professional Magic Show at Niagara Falls. I promise to my camera. I don't know if shots of the show will be allowed but we will be going by the lit up falls at night so those may be nice. It's a dinner show and one of the tricks is making Tigers disappear. Hopefully not via the dinner plates. Now I've done it. I'm going to spend the next week wondering what Tiger would taste like. I have already had alligator and octopus. I like both of those. As my Grandmother used to say she would rather have the experience than die wondering.

Hey Ray get you get a chance to look at any of the manual I sent you?

An update and a promise

As many of you know I haven't been as emotionally secure of late as normal. Just letting you know I'm getting back to normal ( for me in case one of my brothers reads this and dies laughing at the thought of me being considered normal ). ( I guess that would go for my Army Buddies, School Chums, co-workers ok no one who really knows me has ever called me normal. Even my Mom will say while your back to normal then qualify it with "for you". My Dad is different however he has his own form of being Sid. I have seen where I was with a group of friends in a Legion a bad fight broke out. People were flying as someone came at the table he would just happen to pick up his beer for a sip. Body over the table no pause in conversation. Even seen one of my brothers have to get up to throw someone out. Later ask Dad and he goes "What Fight?"

It's just that he always seems completely serene and at peace with the universe. Sort of a Buddha who doesn't give a crap.

Anyway I probably won't be doing much joking ( see how long that can last ). I do want to get to work on that survival book in Ernest. Ray has unwittingly been making me think about it. He asked some honest questions not about the coming book but about things that happened while I was getting the skills I plan to write about. Or about things that happened to those were with me when I was learning them or used some of the past on ones. ( He mainly asked about something my youngest brother was involved with that had 13 to 18 year old cadets rolling on the ground laughing at a platoon of US Marines when the two groups went on a survival course )

I will include a how this skill collection came to be ( it was 3 winters in the making and there were 5 of us playing human Guinea pig on ourselves )

I also would like all of you that can think of them to think of worst case situations for your area. For Odette I'm going to include things that relate to tropical weather related disaster. I would like to know of things for other places that should be prepared for like Mimi in California. There they are encouraged to have emergency gear in their garage for earthquakes. I would like to address things like what if your garage is one of the things the earthquake didn't give a damn about.

Point out things such as while a way of getting to know what general direction is north is it will be the side of trees with the most Moss. However that will be south for Kirst and Fi. Moss grows highest where it gets the least sun so in their case that is South. How to use a watch as a compass. ( One reason even if you prefer digital time you should have a watch with hands. Even if you only use them when lost and wear a dual display watch.

So Questions are welcome. Also I want to do at least a couple of chapters of Thought exercises. People who did not survive and what they could have done so they did. ( please leave out hit by large falling objects unless they camped in a rock slide area that's just natural selection. I do have a friend who last I had heard had been hit by lightning his fourth time and I think the record is surviving 27 hits held for years by a US forest ranger. He lost all his hair after I think his 5th and unfortunately just before due to retire the 28th hit prevented that.

I am ok retirement wise so I won't be doing this for money but posterity. So anyone who wants just ask and as I write the chapters I will email you them to look over. Not all will apply to everyone. Also I would appreciate feedback, are things to deep to simple or do I leave out things obvious to me. Or is the situation in your part of the world different enough to warrant some extra information needed.

When done I will put the book where the whole thing can be downloaded or you can pick chapters. One of my own pet peeves with survival books is size and weight. So I like the idea of print and take the chapters you need.

So I hope to get to work on a book that will have to do until the Professor on Gilligan's Island, Star Trek's Mr Spock and MacGyver get together to write the perfect book on it may just have to do.

This is probably my second last Blog

About a year ago at the suggestion of a friend I began blogging.

For a long time it was very enjoyable.

However lately old wounds long healed have been reopened by friends trying to help but were in reality picking at healed scabs until they were bleeding badly.

I am also at the same time having some problems closer to home. For example I expect I will never see my grand daughter ( She will be two this week and I have not met her ) and now my daughter is expecting again I doubt she will be able to finish college as a result. It is almost impossible to train to become an auto mechanic if you are expecting ).

There are other things closer to home. Both parents are ill and all of my brothers are having economic problems. Which me who is retired and on a disability and really can't help anymore than I have. All of this has led to some worsening of my health and my self esteem has taken a real beating. I am really at the limit of anything more I can do to help.

So I will leave what is on the blog for a couple of weeks in the event anyone for any reason wishes to keep copies of anything I may have wrote then taking it down.

Thank you too all of you for the support you have given during this past year.

What is it people want?

It's just over 3 weeks now since I put up the personals ad. So far not a single response. It's not like it's a small group either they have over 4 million members. I don't think I ever really knew what women looked for in men. ( though I saw many go with guys who everyone said they should have known better ).

I doubt romance is the answer. On yahoo answers I am the number one contributor for valentines day. More than 100 answers ahead of the second place contributor. Go ahead and look it up. I think it's society and culture/holidays/valentines day.

I know the great romantic poets and can recall both Shakespeare or the Bible without trouble.

I have a sense of humor of sorts.

I didn't mention my income as I certainly hope that is not relevant.

My not driving may be a drawback but the fact I don't drink should ease fears of me being a drunk.

Maybe I just need to get back to being happy being in solitude. It does however make me feel like I must be the bottom of the barrel.

My deep thought for the day

1. You can pick your friends

2. You can pick your nose

3. You can't pick your friend's nose

4. Unless you also happen to be his plastic surgeon.