Basic run down of my life

I went to school in the early 70's. The school had a very active Cadet Corps. Lots if schools had Cadet Corps. Every summer I went to a six week Cadet camp run by the Army. First year I got Army basic toned down slightly. Second years I took Rifle coach course rest of High school I was Rifle team captain even when we moved and I ended up in an open corps ( not affiliated with a school rare at the time ) now school corps are rare. Rifle teams use bb guns that happened just after the changed the rules allowing girls to join Cadets and their Mother;s complained to the Government. I had been tested along with 100's of others who had completed the same training after me the spring break after my rifle coach coarse. The test was a week long. Somehow I placed first nationally in the testing. The top candidate in the testing in each command was commissioned as soon as the meet the minimum requirements for an officer. Advanced high school and age 18,In the year before I qualified I was sent to Banff in the Rockies and took mountain climbing, white water rafting advanced leadership and a number of 5 day hikes most of which included climbing two mountains and went on one glacier travel training course. The next year I took an Officer's Basic course that summer since my BDay was in Jan for a year since we were also promoted the first day we got commissioned for a year I was the youngest full Lt in Canada. Next year I commanded a platoon at the same camp I had done basic at. Following years I taught mountaineering and Glacier at Banff after some extra training. Shortly after returning the Outgoing and incoming Colonel's at the Reserve unit the Cadet Corp was affiliated with asked me to Transfer to the primary Reserve. I took four blocks of Infantry Officer Training at a Regular Forces base in on a base near Ottawa and in another in Nova Scotia. I took a great number of shorter courses. As soon as I transfered though I took a drop in Rank to 2Lt for a short I became a Platoon Commander and Continued as a Platoon Commander for the next 5 years. I held many second jobs which changed from time in addition to my Platoon Commander duities I was just at the end and after the viet-nam war and the forces both regular and reserve were short of officers. Eventually pressures from work and working full time nights while going to school full time days was getting to be to much and work was not covering annual military leave not even for two week camps so I left at the time I had met the serving prime minister and really distrusted him so I left. I was working for the transit system and became a subway, streetcar and light rail mechanic. each was considered a separated licensed trade and each required slightly different college diplomas. As they were very related courses there were many I didn't need to take to earn the 2nd and 3rd diplomas. Only 4 out the 10,000 people who worked at the company were qualified on all the electric vehicles. I know nothing about buses. Near the end of my 29 years there I developed Agoraphobia with Panic Disorder. Very possibly because of all the suicides and suicide attempts. During high school in addition to rifle I was varsity wrestling and track. As hobbies or sports I took Judo and Karate Judo starting as a young boy. I never stopped going to school at least part time until I got sick. I was married twice the end of my first marriage was a terrible mistake she is/has been/ always will be the love of my life. My second marriage was tough and she left the day I ended up in hospital. I lost the house and being in hospital also the contents while I was in hospital. First two years I was sick I was in a mental health group home for the panic disorder then moved in with my Mom for a short time then moved to the closest town where I still am. 25% who have this do get better as suddenly as they got sick it is considered a type of PTSD, likely a form of survivor guilt as while I was a subway mechanic and a jumper was alive at the scene when I got there I was usually able to keep them alive till the paramedics arrivied. Sometimes they were sick at first and I had to continue trains do more damage then they may see again in their carreers. There are thousands of paramedics but were on 24 subway emergency mechanics between all shifts and off days the minimum number were four the maximum was 8. My illness makes it very hard for me to go out even short distances I no longer drive for fear of freezing behind the wheel. There is no legal rule against me driving, I am only trying to be responsible. I have been sick since Feb 18 2002 and am still hoping and praying to get better. i live in a huge ward well over a thousand miles church is 46 km away and average attendance at the ward is 85 there are 200 members only 110 are active ( I got the number from the bishop by phone ) I have only managed to get a ride to church once and have only had a home teaching visit once since I moved to this ward. I could not see home teachers in the group home as I could only visit in the common room and the town had no Sunday bus service. I tried walking to church only about 3 miles a few times but it was very hard on my panic disorder. What else. Oh all from school except when I passed the highest Japanese course the local colleges had I took lessons at the cultural center. I'm not near one anymore. I'm fair at English, French, Latin, Japanese, can use a little Tagalog and mandarin and hope to bring those up to decent levels this year. I also plan on adding Russian and Spanish. i do have B of M's in all the languages I mentioned except Latin ( I don't think there is one ). That is basically my life to date. Oh when I turned 25 I heard so often at church that every single male over 25 was a menace to society. After several months of that I became inactive and remained so for 20 years. The only other SA or YSA male in the ward at the same time left the same week I did only I think he did so in writing. I just couldn't take the constant being called basically a criminal. I was the only member of the ward who was or had been in the service since WWII and Was saving a life on average every couple of months. Over my time with the company I probably dealt with 50 suicides and saved 26 to 30 attempts. I still hope and pray I get better I have a dog I "inherited " from my step daughter. He is in very good shape save for being blind but he despite being in good shape is getting very old. He was rescued from a puppy mill and based on how long we have had him what the vets estimated and the records the had for breeding purposes at the mill he is close to turning 27 in march. The record for a dog is just shy of 29 years. His name is Rocky and he is a soft coated Weaton Terrier. I have a friend who is my dog walker and does my shopping for me. If anyone is interested that is basically a run down of my life.